Day by day we started to talk less and less. I tried my best to keep it going but you acted I’m annoying you. Sometimes, I wish that our long conversation will come back but I know that it probably won’t because I thought about it one sided. I always the second choice to anyone in my entire life but at first you made me feel like I’m not your second choice but not anymore. Is it because you’ve found someone else? I have so so many things left unsaid and I think that it’s better off that way.
I don’t want to think negative in our friendships. But since this happened, i do feel i was ignored from all of you. I’m really disappointed honestly but I can’t tell. I don’t expect anything from you but sometimes I hurt myself. If you see this, don’t ask me if it’s mine cuz that’s mine.
“Are u gonna miss me, when im gone?” YES, DEFINITELY. U tried to come back for many times, but I rejected u b’cuz of the all the guilt. I regret everything but I don’t want to go back. I really wish things to go back as before, but I don’t want u back. This may Sound like I’m complicating my feelings, but one thing I know for sure is I still love u, I can’t move on but I don’t want to go back. Sometimes when I miss u, I want to reach out to u so bad but I don’t want u to see how miserable I am atm. U also knew that and always trying to reach out to me ask me if u need any help when I’m on my own and I really appreciate that. One question I wanted to ask u rn, do u sympathize me or are u still here waiting for me as u promised me after we broke up?
I know that your life is so different now from mine. I know that you may never forget about us, but you have forgotten your feelings about me. I know that you have somebody else beside you And I know that you may be saying your i-love-yous to him in different ways. Something that is quite deeper, bolder, or even kinder. Or something that promises your stay still together. I’m just here to write this one for you as I couldn’t think of any better way to tell you how I truly feel until this day about what has happened to us. And to tell you, in case there’s a chance that you read this—that I’ve forgiven you, myself, our past; to say “thank you,” and bid you farewell for the last time. I wish there’s a better way to tell you how painful that night was for me. That night when you said your feeling fade that my mistake...i been thinking why somebody else has occupied your heart that fast while being with me for 1 year you being with me. You didn’t have any idea that while you were saying those words, my hands couldn’t stop shaking as I’ve never expected what was going to happen. I didn’t know that the few days before that night would be the last time that I’ll get to experience a pure bliss being with you. That I’ll never be able to genuinely smile again for a few years. And that I’ll crash and burn. I didn’t know that such deep pain would exist and I’ve underestimated the capacity of life to hurt me in ways that I’ve failed to imagine. I saw how a moment changes, how time is fleeting so fast right before my eyes. That one moment you were telling me that you wouldn’t hesitate to give the world or your life to me. And then another sudden moment came and you treated me like I was the most disgusting person you have ever known. They say time heals all wounds, but the wound you’ve caused me is way beyond having a bruised heart. My soul got wounded too, and it still cries sometimes for what was inflicted on me
My mental health is breaking down so is my mind. The cheerful me have gone and I wish I could have someone who stay by my side and tell me “Everything will be fine.” :)
She just wants people like me, but she doesn’t need me.
Long long time, I have been waiting you until now. We gonna meet soon.
Let me tell you a story of how a rejection has given a really great plan for business. On Oct 31st, I confessed to my Leo crush using a tik tok video which somehow made him guilty of trying to come up with a rejection. Actually no I didn’t try to confess. I was just guilt tripping him cuz cmon I’ve been saying I liked him for several times. Later that night, we called and talked about it. I told him that I actually lost feelings long ago and what I did was just guilt tripping you for rejecting me duhh. Later later that night, a brilliant plan came to mind since you know I will be doing my business plan for final and stuff. Guess what came to my mind!!!!! A Dating App 😭😭 Not your typical dating app like Tinder. Trust me it’s good 🥳😉 Lady and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to Syncnetic. A dating app that allows you to find your compatible partner through your personality trait and your zodiac sign. Beside these, you get to rent-a-partner 🌚 I found rent-a-partner really trendy in China and Japan. So why not Cambodia Lahhhhhh 😂😂 Go Get Syncnetic now!!!! Syncnetic. “Together like magnet” 😉 And that is how rejection helps me come up with stupid sh*t 🌚🌚🌚🌚
I almost contacted you again, but everytime I almost did, I remembered how we're nth to each other. Everytime I almost did, I scrolled through our chats and I saw how pathetic I was. Almost begging for your love. Everytime I almost did, I remembered how you would let me go back home alone. How you had time for everyone else but never for me. How you forgot everything you said. How you told me you would do this and that for me but you never did. Every little things you said you would do. It's the details that matters and show me how much you love me. Turned out I couldn't feel the love at all. I remembered how hopeless and broken I felt to see you never want to give me the title, to never want to commit into the relationship, to never think of us. It was the last straw that broke me. Broke us. They said loving someone too much will make them stop appreciating you, I guess that's true. I gave up my pride for you for so many times. Let's keep this last one for myself. Take care.