Always

we ended just like that. you know, when i look back on the memories we have, both the good and bad, i just realized it was the most vibrant and most alive i’ve ever felt. You said i’m a mature girl. You’d believe that i would feel nothing right now, that I’d be moving on with life. And I too, think that i would be fine for now. Maybe i’d cry later, for days on end. I know that i’ll break down every night, reliving you in my head. I would try so hard not cry when I see you. Then when i look back at this later, I’d break down all over again. I love you a lot, always will. I guess this is it. Our story ends here. I’ll wish you the happiest in life, always. L

Feeling bottled up?

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Man up!

How could I start it? I'm more than confused by you and felt disrespect. I've never thought your notification would matter to me. I genuinely never believe that one notification would make someone's day. But here I am waiting for your notification. For all these past years, I have never tried to open up or try to make it work as I did with you. I used to give zero effort to the guys that were trying to get close to me. For you, I check you out, I make sure to keep the conversation going. I thought maybe we could go far than this. Sometimes, I thought of how you would feel to me. Maybe, he is shy? He is not sure yet? Maybe, I don't open myself enough? or did I do something that he would feel confused. I doubted myself as well. However, your behavior ends up showing how you truly feel to me. Rather than trying to approach me back, you act as we've never had something between us. It's more than enough that a girl could approach a guy first and talk. Man up! Man up for the next girl you playing.

I think it hits me again…

I think the dep hits me again. I noticed by when my heartbeat started to go fast, sometimes I feel suffocated, I couldn’t catch my breath, I couldn’t concentrate, my hands get shaky, my body feel weak, I got lost of interest in making any decisions, my weight started to lost again. I hate to fall into the conditions but I couldn’t help. I tried asking for help but it doesn’t work, it only makes me feel like I’m different, especially when they try to be too careful with me (it looks to fake, I could see it) It is amazing how my mood changes too quickly, I was just laughing and talking a lot yesterday, but today everything become a sorrow story again. I used to think of getting a therapist, asking an expert on my conditions, but the fact that I was under control by my family and that I couldn’t ride or drive any transportation method at all, make me feel even more bad and useless. I also used to think about reaching them via email or phone calls, but I was too scared, it was too hard for me to make myself do it, so I decided I gave up seeking for mental specialist. I chose to be healed by my own. (I really did heal myself but there was a lot of time the demon hits me back and forth, sometimes I feel really happy and the next minutes I feel like k*lling myself) I don’t know what else should I do. Are there anyone who will be the light for me?

❤️‍🔥“B” - T

I think you don’t even know that “B” is the nickname I put for you, it’s like 3 in 1 “Babe, Bong and your name”. Now you’re just “Bong” like everyone else, you’re not my “B” anymore. You know I actually notice how you started to lose interest. I’m a person who always stay quiet so when I see that you act like that I started to detach myself but still it hurts, it hurts so bad when you finally decided to ask me for a breakup. I prepared for it for months but when it really happened, I still can’t quite grasp the situation. Honestly, I’m so jealous of other couples they share with each other everything while you.. you’re so closed off. Whenever I ask about sth you always divert the topic or just ignore the questions. FYI, when I asked i alr know the answer. (“FBI friends” I have them too 🤷🏻‍♀️) I act like I didn’t notice tho cus I hate arguing. Well, whatever I hope you’re happy. And I hope you’d at least give your next girl the bare minimum. Please treat her well. Don’t let her beg for your time and attention like I had to do. React on her posts, post her, take her out, you know the simple little gestures. From: T 🥰

Should I believe my instinct?

After turning 18 years old a day ago, one of my sister’s friends became very touchy towards me. I still remember on my birthday party, after I drank I went to sleep and he came near me and started to hug-sleep but not to hard since my sister was there too. I felt uncomfortable with him after that but decided to ignore it since I have known him for awhile. Yet, on the next day of my birthday party, I went to the bathroom and I saw his phone hanging on his pant. I was very shocked back then but still I am trying to ignore the facts that whether his intention is good or not. Should I ignore it or believe my own instinct ?

I don't think I'm winning this life battle anymore!

Normal ppl don't know what it feels like to wake up everyday and wish I'm not alive. I hate waking up, I hate living, I hate being sad everyday. I'm tired of trying, sick of crying. I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying. Behind my smile is a hurting heart, behind my laugh I'm falling apart. Look closely at me and you'll see, the girl I am, it isn't me. I hate seeing everything blooming around me while I'm here still withering into nothingness, I feel like I'm already dead so what difference would it make. Sometimes I just wish I was dead, I wouldn't have to wake up everyday with regret. I wouldn't have to hate myself more than I already do. But most importantly I wouldn't have to feel pain anymore. I'm hiding what I'm feeling but I'm tired of holding this inside my head. I'm not feeling anything, I'm completely empty right now, it's making me depressed. When you're depressed you don't control your thoughts, your thoughts control you. I wish some ppl would understand this, especially my parent. Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war, and I don't think I'm winning anymore. I'm sorry for being like this. I'm sorry for being such a failure.

Thank you

Dear admin, I wrote 'Feeling and reason are at war'. I am writing now to let you know that I am just here to free my mind like you offer. You dont need to post it up on the page, I just hope there is someone who can read what is on my mind. Thank you and I really appreciate your offer.

The confession

I will wait for you until you’re finally ready for a relationship again, but don’t make me wait for too long.

Even if we are not together (admin edition)

Hey there, Just wanna leave a message here. Well, it’s something that is bittersweet. You’re a beautiful flower and I love to see you grow. Azami,