Some of my point of view in these past few years for hiding from the reality.

Dope I am a kind of person that would build the walls instead of the bridge because I used to experience some trauma events in the past. [newLine*] [newLine*] They used to call me “ sensitive, dramatic, self victimized, stupid, etc.” And here I am, being a cold hearted person ever in my life. I don’t like the version of today’s me yet, I am still glad that it kinda makes me stronger and be more careful around my surroundings. Running away from my own feelings is one of my coping mechanisms since it is the best way to do so when it comes to expressing emotions. I wanted to open up and have the healthiest relationship with others but the dark inner part of me is still keep telling me that they will judge me in every possible way that they could also the people that I expect then to be will be leave me eventually anyway so instead of being my real self, I just show them what they wanted to see from me.[newLine*] [newLine*] Losing the ones that I love is also a tragic cause for my mental health too. My mom passed away since I was 6 years old and I hadn’t had the mother-daughter moments yet and it really broke my heart ‘til nowadays. So instead of crying, I usually hide my true emotions and keep moving forward when I was still not healed from what broke me in the past. I used to held grudges, always get jealous when they got what I wanted, they have the best relationship with their families, they have a strong self confidence and many more. Very toxic person I could possibly find. [newLine*] [newLine*] But here I am, after all what I have been through both mentally and physically. A cold hearted b*tch also I am still keep finding out who I really am and what is my purpose of life. I still feel guilty when I hurt the ones that love me so, but nothing is permanent anyway so I’ll live the best of my life instead of pleasing other people. [newLine*] [newLine*]From, thyka. ♡︎

Feeling bottled up?

Recommended Posts

2025-08-14

You said we were “Soulmate”❤️‍🔥

When things got too caught up, I disappeared, I shut down that just how I am, that’s how I cope with stress. So sorry, I think this time I shut down too long didn’t I? I didn’t talk for months instead of hours. Actually, during those months I hope that u would comfort me but u never once message me during those months and all these thoughts that were all up in my head like “you don’t love me anymore” start to come up and it’s true. When I finally open up again, when I feel better and talk again You already decided to abandon me. It’s hurtful but it’s understandable so I respect your decision. Hope that’s the best decision you’ve ever made. Hope you are happy. Some people are blessings, some are lessons so Thank you for the lesson. 🥰
2025-08-14

Pain….

Hey, I don’t know whether you’ll see this but I hope you won’t. Anyway, I just found out that u muted me on social media when I did literally nothing to you. Why ? I just completely on my own space but when I found out about it, my heart just break into pieces. I don’t know who am I to you, whether I’m annoying to u or else. I’m completely not okay as you muted me and treat me this way. I cherished our friendship so much we’ve been friends for many years, we spent our wonderful teenager life together. I remember I had you, and u know u had me too. It’s just a friendship they said, but to me it’s a really pure and beautiful one I had with you but since you did this to me I might be somehow annoy u therefore, I will no longer post or share anything on social media… so if u see this it’s up to u whether u want to unfollow or block me whatever makes you happy but remember one thing, as I figured it out I can’t stop myself from crying as I don’t know that is how u treat me as friend for years, as someone who used to comfort, help, and yeah u helped me a lot too. We shared tons of memories and it left me heartbroken and speechless of how 2years of miscommunication lead us to this. You know I have trust issues when it comes to love but thanks to you now I have trust issue in friendship too. Good luck!!!

2025-08-14

Appreciate

"ការស្រលាញ់ដែរចេញពីចិត្ត គឺជាអារម្មណ៍នៃការផ្តល់អោយ ផ្តល់អោយដោយចេញពីចិត្តដោយមិនមានការទាមទារពីភាគគីម្ខាងទៀតទេ ដូចជាការគោរព ការទុក្ខចិត្ត ការបារម្ភ... " ទាំងនេះគឺជាពាក្យដែរខ្ងុំនិយាយប្រាប់ទៅ មនុស្សម្នាក់ដែរសួរខ្ងុំថា "what is love". ទោះបីជាពេលនេះពួកយើងលែងជាអ្វីនឹងគ្នា ប៉ុន្តែការផ្ដល់ឱ្យរបស់ខ្ញុំចំពោះអ្នកនៅតែមាន ខ្ញុំមិនដែលខឹង ស្អប់ រឺក៏គុំគួនអ្នកឡើយទោះបីជាអ្នកដៀមដាមថាអោយខ្ងុំតាមរយះ status share or story ដោយការយល់ច្រលំលើទង្វើ និងបំណងរបស់ខ្ងុំក៏ដោយ. បើសួរថាតើនៅអាណិត ស្រលាញ់ទេ អារម្មណ៍នេះនៅតែមាន តែខ្ងុំមិនអាចបកក្រោយទេ ព្រោះចង់ឃើញអ្នកនៅជាមួយមនុស្សដែរល្អជាងខ្ងុំ ចំពោះខ្ងុំបានត្រឹមធ្វើជាសង្សារ និងបានលឺពាក្យថា I feel love when I'm with you and I never feel this with anyone before គឺគ្រប់គ្រាន់ហើយ. អ្នកប្រហែលជាគិតថាខ្ងុំអត់ដែរស្រលាញ់អ្នកទេបានជាខ្ងុំកាត់ចិត្តបានលឿនយ៉ាងនេះ ប៉ុន្តែផ្ទុយទៅវិញខ្ងុំគ្រាន់តែទទួលការពិតថាពួកយើងមិនអាចនៅជាមួយគ្នាបាន រួចទទួលយកការឈឺចាប់ទាំងអស់ ហើយក៏រំសាយម្តងបន្តិចៗតាមតែអាចធ្វើបាន បែបនេះហើយបានជាអារម្មណ៍របស់ខ្ងុំមិននៅជាប់ជុំពាក់នឹងអតីតកាល
2025-08-14

Indecisive

Who would you choose between the one you love and the one who loves you?

2025-08-14

Doubt

Girl! You do experience and have a long lasting realtionship but how could you do this to me? Remember when there is stranger who try to talk to your man. You act up and blow it on social media about how disspoainted, sad, anger and how much you hate or dislike girl who behave like this. Then how should i react? When it is just a one time meeting but you try to stick around, try to fit in to the circle. I know it is just about friendliness, you have it toward me too. However, I got driven away and you got a place to stand. Not just a place you found one for your friend too. That is how I got repalced. I don’t know how to feel or react. How could I being treated like this? And You too girl! I do know love can’t be forced but I can’t make myself believe that you are not related in this. Even if it was just a one time gather but you sure know the history of me and that person. Then why do you still let one of your ally in? Standing in my place? I mean if there is no you or just don’t be too friendly or just stay in your circle maybe thing won’t turn out like this. I just feel so stupid or maybe I am one. That why even after you saw me, knew everything you still find a place for her because I am just something that is already thrown away anyway and that space is empty so it got to have a replacement? I mean don’t you understand what attachment is? Or am I a narrow minded who still dwell about the past? What if you were me can you stand and watch calmly without anxious, curiosity and wonder how could it happen if you are not between it? But I am happy for you. You don’t have to imagine yourself in this situation because you got a good person by your side! Still how could you take my good person for your alliance? I felt so insecure, regret of open up and afraid of getting to know new people. But maybe I shouldn’t feel like that anymore becuase now I got nothing else to lose.

2025-08-14

Someone in heaven

Hey guy!!😑I don't know what in my mind but I still miss you someday😢.I miss our text, our memories in our text😢 I can't tell anyone and I just keep it in my mind😓 I really want to read our old chat but you don't keep it for me 😐You delete all our memories.You left me 3-4years ago but I can't delete you in my mind.I wish we'll meet in another life.😢 #H♥
2025-08-14

What should I do next?

I’m sorry but I don’t freaking know what to do anymore. I don’t know whether he has feeling for me or he is just being nice. I don’t know whether to move on or keep holding into this one-sided love. I want to move on before I fall for him harder than this, but the love I have for that man right now is already deeper, deeper than you can ever imagine. I don’t want to be friend with someone I love, also I can’t accept the fact that one day we’ll be stranger again. A man who I’ve never expected I’d get closed to, a man who I’ve never expected that I’d fall for this hard, a man who I’m really happy to be around…

2025-08-14

Those days

One day, we were mentally and physically inseparable, and today, you are trying to avoid me. All the good days we spent together, I hope you still remember those days like I do. The days we shared our personal feelings and daily lives’ activities. I hope those days wouldn’t be forgotten in just a short period of time. If I were to be granted one wish, I wish those days happened once again. Even though what comes after hurt both of us and could potentially hurt people we are with, those days were the best days I could ever ask for.