for my kitty
take care, ber sen jea ku puk yerng ng joub knea mdong teat #LT
Is it wrong to have feelings for your own friend? And is it wrong to still have hope that we might end up together? Is it too pathetic to continue liking him? I can say that we are quite close, and by far, he’s the closest guy friend I’ve ever had. Close in the sense of me sharing with him about my day, my struggles, my happy moments, etc. He was very understanding, kind, and not to mention very smart. He listened to me ranting about my days very well. He also consults me whenever I’m down. We exchanged many texts. We texted non-stop until the early morning. He made me feel somewhat important and special. We also countdown together on New Year’s Eve. But, little did I know, he treated other friends (he had a lot of girl friends) the same way too…… I tried to distance myself and cut off my feelings, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. Even to this day, I still have feelings for him and still hope that I’m special to him in some way. My pathetic self.
take care, ber sen jea ku puk yerng ng joub knea mdong teat #LT
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asdasd
So I started high school, and for the first year I felt like a total outsider. But then I met some amazing people who made me happier than I had ever been. We all became super tight in that first year, and I managed to win over one of them to the point where she fell for me. But here's the thing: I'm gay. I didn't want to fake anything, so I had to end it. It was done in two weeks, and both of us were hurt. I know it's not as tragic as some of the other stories out there, and she has definitely moved on by now, but what kills me is that I lost one of my best friends. It was tough because we were part of a big group of friends, so we kept seeing each other throughout the rest of high school. To make it even more complicated, our moms became besties. And every time we saw each other, there was this awkward invisible wall between us. I acted like I didn't care, and she didn't seem to either, but for some reason I just can't let go. Even though I'm gay, I still think I could have been in love with her. In fact, I think I still am. We crossed paths again at a New Year's party. We exchanged a few meaningless words at the start, but even after we got pretty drunk, nothing happened. I keep having dreams about her since then, where we're friends again and we're just hanging out with other people. It's such a warm and comforting feeling. But I know it's something that I won't ever get to experience again for real.
មួយជាតិនេះ មនុស្សស្រីណាក៏ប៉ងចង់រៀបការទៅ ចូលគ្រួសារមួយដែលគេស្រឡាញ់យើងដូចកូនបង្កើតដែរ… អ្វីៗក៏ដោយអូនខំធ្វើល្អអស់ហើយ រំពឹងថាបើប៉ាម៉ាក់បងមិនស្រឡាញ់អូនទេ ក៏គាត់អាចព្រមទទួលយើងដែរ .. តែប្រហែលអូនគ្មានវាសនាបាននៅជាមួយបងទេ, អូនបានត្រឹមតែរួមដំណើរជាមួយបងហើយចាំមើលបងរៀបការជាមួយអ្នកផ្សេង ព្រោះគ្រួសារបងមិនអាចទទួលយកអូនទេ.. អូនឃើញគូគេផ្សេង គេអាចពុះពារនៅជាមួយគ្នាបាន ចុះម៉េចបានបងសុខចិត្តបោះបង់អូន.. បងមានចាំអនុស្សាវរីយ៍យើងអត់ ចុះអ្វីដែលយើងនិយាយគ្នា អ្វីដែលយើងសន្យា.. ម៉េចបានវាគ្មានន័យទៀតចឹង.. អូនឈឺណាស់រាល់ថ្ងៃ បងមានអាណិតអូនអត់ អូនធ្លាប់តែប៉ងចង់នៅជាមួយបងរហូត តែឥលូវដូចគេយកអ្វីៗគ្រប់យ៉ាងពីអូនចឹង .. តើឲអូនដើរទៅផ្លូវណា.. អូនសល់អីទៀតបង.. បងជួយអូនផង..
ជាក្មេងដែលប្ដូរពីខេត្តមកនៅទីក្រុង។ តម្រូវឲ្យត្រូវមកផ្ញើរខ្លួននៅផ្ទះគេ ផ្ទះញាតិ "ផ្ទះម្ដាយមីង ដែលខ្ញុំហៅថា កូវ"។ "ផ្ទះគេ" ពាក្យតែ 2 ម៉ាត់ទេ តែបង្កប់ដោយរឿងឈឺចាប់ តូចចិត្តវេទនាក្នុងនឹងពិបាកបងស្រាយ។ រស់នៅក្រោមជម្រកគេមិនងាយស្រួលទេ បងប្អូនឯងក៏ដោយ រស់ដោយមើលទឹកមុខគេ រស់ដោយការព្យាយាមធ្វើគ្រប់យ៉ាងដើម្បីផ្គាប់ចិត្តគេ រស់ដោយត្រូវគេសង្កេតមើលគ្រប់សកម្មភាព ទាំងដើរ ទាំងឈរ ព្រោះគេក្លាចយើងនាំចង្រៃចូលផ្ទះគេ។ គេព្យាយាម control ខ្ញុំ សូម្បីតែលុយដែលខ្ញុំប្រឹងរកដោយកម្លាំងញើសឈាមខ្ញុំ ខ្ញុំប្រឹងរកស៊ីផង រៀនផង ធ្វើការផង គ្រាន់តែទិញសម្ភារៈដើម្បីផ្គាប់ចិត្តខ្លួនឯងក៏ត្រូវគេជេរ គេថាខ្ញុំខ្ជះខ្ជាយ គេថាខ្ញុំស្រីកញ្ជើរធ្លុះ គេថាខ្ញុំហក់លោទធ្វើចរិកកូនអ្នកមាន គេចង់ control ការចាយវាយខ្ញុំ😅 នៅច្រើនទៀត ច្រើននិយាយអត់អស់។ តែមានតែអ្នកធ្លាប់ នឹង កំពង់នៅផ្ទះគេ ដូចខ្ញុំទេ ដែលយល់ថាវាវេទនាពិនណា😄
I’m clingy, moody, insecure, have trust issues, self doubt, and lots of mental breakdown, which people categorize me as “toxic”. I’m trying to change. I really do, because I’m not feeling fine and happy with all those toxic traits too. I stay up every night questioning my own worth and existing. I don’t know why am I like this. And I thought, you would stay. I thought, you were different. I thought, you would wait for me to heal. Eventually, it was all my thought. Don’t take this wrong. I’m not blaming you. I was just hoping you stayed. I hope it was you who would have been there for me, but you have never been there with me on my bad days, not even once. I’m too much to be handled. I always know.[newLine*]Let’s be honest with me one last time, what is your feeling for me the last few months we talked? Did your feeling fade away? Was it not strong? From the start? Or from when I started to show you my true self? My dark side? [newLine*] I miss you, a lot. However, I know being with me is too tiring for people, I love you so much that I don’t want you to suffer with someone like me. I hope you’re with someone better, healthier, happier. Someone who loves life, someone who will match your energy, someone who is normal.
I have this friend and well, one day we're friend and another day he's being so sweet and all. He tells me about the other girls he met or girls that he's into. Being a good friend, I'm always there listening and giving him advices so that other girls will like him. When little did he knows that it hurts me like hell because I have feelings for him. We have almost nothing in common as far as I know but we are cool with each other. Or maybe we are only cool with being friends but why does he keeps taking care of me and making me flatter with butterflys in my stomach. I want to tell him how i feels but if things dont go well I also dont want to lose him as a friend. We chat abit before this and he's so supportive and nice and tell me to tell him if something is going on but I just cant bring myself to say anything. Staying up late and overthinking this things is killing me and I feel like I'm about to explode.