•Having a Handsome Crush is fine, not Until you Discover that He's gay🌚🙂
Do you really love me or you are just lonely? How long are we going to stuck here? Being more than friends but less than relationship? have you ever think of wanting to commit to this relationship? How about y'all? have you been in the situation? What did you do? Did it end in a good or bad way? How long should I wait more? Should i end it now?
I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. Even though it was very clear at a young age to me that mommy and daddy absolutely hated each other’s guts and only got married in the first place cause of my birth, they refused to divorce. “Staying together for the kids” is the absolute worst thing you can do to a child. Mom and dad, What did I do wrong?? my existence??? [newLine*]Personally, it effected my general self esteem and the way I formed and behaved in relationships for the rest of my life. I was diagnosed with PTSD, (yess PTSD) as growing up in a house that was literally a battlefield. I always blaming myself for being existing. I thought my family was normal. It wasn’t until i turned 15 when I had friends whom I would go visit and then I started seeing something completely different. My friends had normal parents. Before that, I thought a dysfunctional family was normal. I still suffer from anxiety to this day and self-esteem. My problems are a constant fear of getting too close to people, including friends. As I grew older I became more quiet. It’s effected my relationships and friendships to a point where I end up pushing people away. I like being alone where there’s complete silence and nothing can bother me. I think I came to this point due to growing up in my parents house and constantly hearing them scream at each other, doors slamming. My self-esteem problems are mostly from being ignored and neglected through out my early life. My parents whose were never involved with anything of my childhood despite us living in the same household. The cause of their arguments has always been about me, and still is to this day. My dad came home from work and fighting with my mom because of me, it became worse with age. I feel embarrassed or ashamed to even talk about this with my close friends. My family was of the type that everything happened behind closed doors and out in public. If I had friends come over, they became entirely different people in front of my friends. They could actually act right and tolerate each other when they had company- (why the hell can’t you be normal like that all the time?) For this reason, I never opened up and told my friends what happened in our house cause I feared they’d never believe me. It wasn’t until my early adult years, I finally opened up and started telling my friends what really going on at home but some of them told me that no matter what it is, they’re still my parents and they loves me but they don't seem to loves me nor even care about my feelings except for their own. I always want to get away from them and living my life without them. Sometimes when I opened up about it not because I want empathy nor attention but I just need someone who listen to me, listen to me without judging me. Don’t get me wrong I do appreciate my friends and understand that they’re just trying their best to comfort me.
We all wished to have been born in another country than the one we have gotten. Regretfully we cannot control our fate. However, we are individuals with free will, and it is up to us to do whatever it takes to rightfully get to a country that we wish to have been born in. Here is my story: I felt the love for another person’s country and the warmth embrace of two lovely girls all the way in Northern Europe from my cozy and comfortable room in Cambodia. I met them through a mutual friend/family of mine in the summer of 2021, whom agreed to connect me with my soon-to be friends virtually to discuss on studying abroad. Right from that moment that we were connected, I felt that I was supposed to meet you. The memories and feelings that blossomed as we talked and called on our phones about 9,000 km apart still makes my heart smile as I am writing this confession now. The laughters and jokes that we shared those late nights still makes my heart palpitated just by thought of it. From the moment I expressed my love and appreciation for your country, the interest in pursuing a graduate level study in your country, and the admiration for the language of your people, you have been nothing but supportive, warmth and friendly in the cause for my struggle. You have brought peace and calmness throughout this long journey of mine. Most importantly, for every time that we talked you expects to see and awaits my arrival. For that I am 🥹 grateful, I cannot wait to close the gaps between us.
Thanks for letting me to be part of your life even if my role is too short for the chapter you've been through. Still, I'm glad that somehow I made you happy in the things I did. Be strong always, don't let your guard down. It’s okay to be sad after making the right decision.
If it were you, will you go to help ur ex if she/he ask you for a help even she/he alr had someone else ?
Do you think, being with someone who is depressed, will turn you into someone like them too? You’re being tortured emotionally by them to the point you just want to suicide with them, but still, you have to be that someone comforting them and tolerating with everything. You changed from someone who is so optimistic to pessimistic, and damn the world is never pink again.
Just as close as a family she said... So us having something secretive behind the group is considered a betrayal. Him being uncomfortable talking about it and is still unsure about me, her pushing me to tell everyone as soon as possible, so we can discuss about it with the group because what me and him are doing is considered to be more than sinful. Following her, will lose me him. Following him, will lose me her. Leave it as it is and we will all lose each other. And me being in the middle of it, makes it easier for me to blame it all on myself when I can't even fully understand what it's turning into. I love them so much, I love everyone so much. But can I just have a bit more time, "Her"? And can you give us a chance to try it in a different way , "him"? I know I'm so "immature" to you guys but trust me a little, will you? Because I'm so close to end me for the sake of everyone.
Am I being third wheel again? I ask myself. I still can’t move on and you’ve been in a healthy relationship. Why did you ask me to be your best friend after all these times? Why did I even agree with this? You said you love me and I’m the best person, ur soulmate but why did you break up with me and ask me to be your best friend instead? I know it’s been along time and why did you text and call me when you feel so down ( u told me because I am the only person who u feel comfort to)?? While you were in a relationship with someone else? I won’t deny it, I always love you and I feel so wrong. All my friends said how stupid I am and one day I will meet someone else who will hold my hand till the end of my life , I try to move on and believe that. I wish you could feel open with ur current gf tell her everything you’ve been through I’m sure she would understand you way better then me. To myself also I wish I can leave you behind and I don’t think we can be friends because I still have some feelings for you, trust me I will try my best for letting you go. Wish you the best ✨ To : mysoulmatewhoicanbewith