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I don't know why i still love you even you cheated on me. Am i insane?
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Regret? I'd say no. Because deep down I know you chose the right path. Pain? I'd say no. Because when I see how happy you are without my standing beside you, 'who am I to say "It's hurt." if you're happy?'--I ask. Miss? I'd say no. Because it would make no sense that someone, who hurt you, approaches you and say "I miss you". Love? Oh lord, No. It doesn't make any sense to love something you shattered, right? The only question to which I'd say yes is: "Is this the last time we talk to each other?" I'm not in a position to regret, miss, love, or even complain about the pain I've been going through. But at least I'm happy. I'm happy to know that I can no longer hurt you, and you're happy--even if someone else is the reason for that happiness.
We broke up and you found someone new. It was a dark time for the two of us. I got my problem and you got yours. Yes, we start spending less time together because life keep throwing us lemon and make everything sour between us. Deep down in my heart, I still love you, I still miss everyplaces we went together, drink, eat … The parking spot that i park my car and we shared about problems… I missed all of that. Now that you left, I try to avoid all the places that we been to together… every time i when there, in my head, I saw shadows of your and flashbacks of you every details your orders, your favorite drinks… it hurt me.
Who would you choose between the one you love and the one who loves you?
I know we no longer belong to each other, but I miss you, always have missed you, and always will miss you. I don’t know why it is so easy for you to move on, to forget about us, but I don’t want to be like you. I want to keep our memories in my head as long as possible , I won’t try to forget about us, because those are the memories I adore the most. I wish you had cared a little more about my feelings, if you did, maybe we wouldn’t be strangers today. You always blamed me when we argued, calling me childish , never once reflected on your actions . Never knew how much you hurt me, or maybe you did know, you just chose to not care. Because, after all , maybe I’m not that special to you. I love you a lot , a lot that I’d take you back the second you tell me you miss me. To the person I wish loved me more , #R
ខ្ញុំចង់សំរាក ខ្ញុំស្អប់ជួបមនុស្សរាល់ថ្ងៃ ស្អប់ដែលរស់នៅទាំងដែលមិនពេញចិត្តនឹងអ្វីដែលកំពុងធ្វើ ខ្ញុំចង់នៅបន្ទប់មួយម្នាក់ឯង ចង់ដេកស្តាប់បទចម្រៀងលឺៗដោយមិនរំខានអ្នកណា ចង់អង្គុយមើលទឹកភ្លៀងតែម្នាក់ឯង ចង់អានសៀវភៅដែលខ្លួនចូលចិត្ត ចង់មានរបស់ដែលជាកម្មសិទ្ធិខ្លួនគ្មាននរណាប៉ះពាល់
I just started to talk with others so I could forget you but the more I do the more you cross my mind, I hate it that I always compare them to you. And I would still choose you. :) I couldn’t believe that you chose to trust others’ words instead of mine who’s supposed to be your partner who’s supposed to spend the rest of our life together. You know I actually cut others off just for you, there are some friends who told me bad things about you and I don’t even hangout with them anymore because I know you, they don’t. I was alone for quite awhile but then I make new friends at school. But you betrayed me, you listened to others and decided to end things with me. I was so disappointed but there’s nothing I can do because it showed me the amount of trust that you actually had in me. I don’t know if you hate me now or that you never actually love me in the first place because now you already blocked me. Plus the last day (BD) that we saw each other (as couple), you didn’t even want to talk to me or even sit near me. I feel like I’m such a fool for loving you, I saw many red flags from the start , since the time you don’t even tell me your socials to the time you talked about posting each other and many more but still I decided to act blind. I told you I was never in a relationship before so I was so clueless not sure what to do, how to act. And the first serious relationship? Now you just make my anxiety and trust issues worsened. You should have look at your cousins as example in how they treat their girls you know. See the difference from how you treated me? “If they wanted to, they would.” Also, whenever I told you what I don’t like about your behavior, you always got so offended and started to send me texts after texts when all I wanted to do was to communicate how I felt. That’s why I just started to become silent cus I hated arguing with you (bad choice right because we stopped talking to each other since then). Anyways, I really hope you treat your next partner right. Take care. My former ❤️🔥
I’ve been isolating myself from everyone for awhile now. I avoid meeting ppl, I don’t pick up calls or reply any chat from anyone, I put my phone on airplane mode everyday. To those who knows me, will know how normal it is for me to disappear every now and then. But this time I took a long break, I don’t know if ppl around me will be patient enough to deal with this break. I have this one habit of disappearing when things get tough and refuse to ask for help from anyone or showing my vulnerability to ppl. Things get tough lately to the point that everything become overwhelming to me, I can’t complete any task, I can’t even take care of myself. I used to be an achiever, a person who dream big and thrive for everything in life, want to do this and that, but things often take the wrong turn, then I failed from time to time, which leads me to choose on a plan B (which I’m not very fond of). Time goes by, I feel like I’m shifting further away from my dream, I’m forcing myself to do the thing that I don’t want to do, I feel like everything I do is just for the sake of existing, I don’t feel like I have a life anymore. Sometimes I just wish I have the power to erase myself from ppl memories, I just want them to forget about me so that I can end my life peacefully. I don’t want to carry remembrance, remorse, or sorrow to my after life. But that’s physically impossible. Sometimes I wonder what if I move away as far as possible, disconnecting from ppl until one day they forget who I was and start working on myself again until I’m in a good state and come back like nothing happened, will they still accept me? Will that make everything better? I feel bad yet grateful for those who often trying to help or checking up on me once in a while when they notice I’m not okay, I just want to say sorry for ignoring u but thanks for ur patience. It might look like I’m disregard ur empathy, but I just wanted u to know that I appreciate that a lot, even though I don’t say it and I value ur time, effort and everything. Just for the quick update for those who asking me ‘How’s thing? How’s life?’, not so good, but I’m thriving and doing my best to get by. Just for now, I need a break, a long big break from everything. I can’t continue at a stage like this. I’ve been building bad performance at school, at work and every task that I attempted to do. Therefore, I quit school, quit work, avoid any social social interaction at all cost. There’s just me and me atm. No I don’t have plan or know what to do next anymore. I’m just working on my inner me. Hoping I’ll be okay again very soon. So pls be patient with me, don’t give up on me just yet, I’ll be back…