(This is like a note to myself) There’s a quote said don’t expect the happiness from where u lost it and they’re right. No matter how much u still love someone or feel like u want to give someone another chance just because u feel bad about it, just don’t do it. It’s not worth it. If there’s moment when u feel like u should go back, just remember how much u have strived, how much u have tried to moved on from all the trauma, how hard u have tried just to get urself back up again. I have come so far just to get over all the trauma that he gave me, now that I gave him a chance, he flipped on me and now I have to go through the same process all over again. It’s hurting and it’s embarrassing at the same time. He making me feel like a clown, but thanks for the lesson.
Dear Santa Last last last…..years you grant someone wish, and we get to be together. I ain’t want you to grant me to s.o else. I have had enough watching that person walks away, fall with s.o new. If you can hear my wish, please let us collide once again.
Destiny has allowed me to meet a person who has taken a special place in my heart and has affected my life in some profound way. Being an introvert, it's so unusual of me to chat with other people. But for this person, I've tried. We chat for a month and I must admit, his company is way better than my solitude it doesn't exhaust me. Tgt, we share stories and updates about each other until late nights. There was no dull moment with him as he was so jolly and funny to talk with. He brings out the best of me as he make me smile and make me happy effortlessly. I must admit, he's the epitome of the man I've been praying for. But sadly, we separated ways and we decided to be stranger again. Everything that's good about us has just eventually ended. He has never shoot me a message anymore, and as to his reason, I still have no apparent clue. My life since then became pure dull and mundane. But up until this moment, two months has gone by, a part of me still longs for him;ther's a void in me that only he can fill: my heart still hopes that someday, he'd message me again. The memories that we had still made me smile even the littlest of things. And I'd love to have that kind of feeling once again; the excitement, the throbbing of my heart when receiving messages from him before. "IMY" if only you know, sadly I couldn't tell you this. letting you know that I've fallen once is enough. I'm just right here, waiting, and will always be. If you don't know how to come back, just send me a song. In God's perfect time, Hope we will meet again and start over again. #From P to P
I saw your post. Should you commit suicide? you failed as a son and boyfriend . Not just him anyone that felt like that. First I want to say you are lovable you have your own worth that's not everyone can see it . Person who values you will see you worth . However I know we want the affection especially from our closeness like family I was also the same . When I begin to stop ask for that instead love myself, value myself , in the end we only have ourself . I want to tell you that live on for your dream or travel to any place that you never before . If you don't have dream you will discover one . Secondly Learn to forgive who blamed you for your existence when you start learning forgiveness and want nth back . You will start to heal yourself . Remember you have your own value . Fight for yourself love yourself more . You never reward yourself then do it . Give yourself a rest . Thirdly, we are not perfect . We have our own imperfections . Learn from the past ,the mistakes, the trauma ,the misery. And forgive yourself accept those thing, learn it and improve yourself . For anyone who hurts you . You have two choices either keep distancing or be normal you still be yourself doing good deed just be yourself even you realise they never be in good term with you( they might take time to realise it ) But still it is better to distance yourself from them and give yourself growth. I think everyone know commit suicide is not solutions but sometimes we can't fight anymore we are tired emotionally , spiritually, physically . That's why you need to rest . You should forgive them and maybe distance yourself after you start to focus on yourself to heal . Love yourself 🤗. Afterall you only have yourself in the end . You was born alone you will die alone your sadness carry is alone . If you have no friends to share your story with . Write it down to book all the feeling,anger ,happy how is your day ? Planning things ahead . Maybe you should try to learn new things like arts, music discover yourself. One more thing read book or feed your brain with any knowledge if you are into any major feed yourself with it to build yourself . When you are busy with yourself you will eventually not care about other anymore . All your attention shift on yourself . Last but not least again .keep moving forward . You are so awesome human being . Please take care of yourself more and love yourselfà§(ï¼¾ 〰 ï¼¾)à¨. From me Viramoon. sorry for my grammer . I'm still working on it.
Typing on your keyboard while working, you were so focused. You are the type of guy that does not talk unless there is something important to be talked about, which was why we rarely talked until there was something either you or I needed help of. Later, everything changed because one thing led to another and we became so close. We started to share our daily lives activities, and you always found something that we both enjoyed talking to one another. It got to the point that it was very difficult to go through a day without talking to you. It had become a habit of ours to have daily conversation about this and that. No one knew that we were that close since we were so good at hiding it from others, but I knew that deep down in my heart, I already fell for you. You were a guy who did everything I look for in a boyfriend. You made me felt like that there were still nice guys in this world even though we were just friends. Every morning when I woke up, I was always excited to start my day as I would be able to see your face. I could not help but kept looking at you from time to time, and sometimes I caught you did the same to me too. One day, you confessed that you had feeling for me and wished that we could be more than just friends. You just made a girl very happy. I could not stop smiling seeing that message of yours. My heart was pumping hard and my hands were shaking. However, I did not know how to reply besides saying ‘I am sorry but it is not possible’. The feeling of wanting it so much but could not get it was like having a knife stabbed in my chest. We both knew why it could never happen. You gave it a try hoping that I would say yes but I could never do it knowing that it could hurt someone. A part of me wish that you never said those words so that we could keep pretending that we did not have feeling for each other and still could communicate with one another as usual. We were like characters in a novel who could never have a happy ending together. A chapter of my life with you in it was the best and at the same time the most painful. We met, we talked, we became close, and then we became strangers again. It was like nothing had ever happened between us.
Incapable to keep you by my side but just to let you know that my heart was once yours . - To Sok Heang
This isn't really a confession about anything, but more like an announcement. I don't know if I will be able to continue this thing we called living any longer. I guess it like I'm running away but I don't think I can keep doing this so when I hit my 20th birthday, I think I'm going to kill myself. I think it gonna be the right thing to do because I'm pretty worthless and my life meant nothing so yea. Cheer to the next 2 months of my life.
I have been living on a fence between being normal, socially constructed, like most of everyone else, and being true to my cognitive self. To set up the premise, I am currently working as a software developer. I've been coding just so I know how to make games but that is still easier said than done. Being torn between work for my family and walking for my own can sometimes be discouraging. Is it lunacy to chase a near impossible spectrum of goals given where we are living? and leave behind our own flesh and blood even though just for a brief period of time compared to the whole life span in which we humans can live? The idea of knowing your own value is so vaguely destructive due to never being taught before how to measure that aspect of our own internal value, which spawn ignorance and esteem issues. "Pick the one you love", they said. The idealistic entity in which all of my hopes and expectations combined has nothing more but shattered due to the chaotic nature of nature itself. I fear the unknown, the dread of not knowing what to come next. The dread of nothing matters. I can only work towards it but how it ends will frighten me nonetheless.
Nowaday, I have 002067317 problem to solve. Please help me !!