Hatred

What would you do if you found out you're just an alternative or a shadow to his ex? Do you feel hurt? Angry? Hatred? Because I do. It was not wrong to not love somebody. What's wrong is how you keep telling me how much you love me, then keep going back to your ex. What's wrong is how you told me to forget the past and start it all again, then betray me and do all those things again the next day. What's wrong is how you told me to put my heart into trusting you, but you're using my trust against me. You kept saying you love me, but that's not love. There's no way you can love me when you still keep everything from your past. There's no way you can love me when you can fall in love with another girl within a week. There's no way you can love me when you regret being with me and hope you have chosen her instead. The funny thing is, people hurt me, but I'm now the bad guy. I hope all those people who did me wrong, who invalidate my feeling, who blame me for reacting the way I did, will all get their karma very soon. I have all this rage in me because I'm the one that has been suffering. To the people that said that it was normal and I was the one that overreacting, I hope you will be treated like this for the rest of your life. I was never someone who hold a grudge and be so revengeful, anyone who knows me knows how I always forgive people, but not this time. I choose to heal in hell.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Don't lose yourself.

Sometimes you really love a person eventho they have done bad things to you and Sometimes you've been holding on to it for so long that you forgot yourself. That you've lost the value of your worth, I know it struggling sometimes to hold on to something that you are trying so hard, But if it hurts you, you also have to let it go. There's no point of holding on to it, it will only eat you up and keep you insecure. I am a guy who's badly devastated by a few person who did the same thing to me over and over. I'm the one who is trying to hard to keep things like before, eventho i know so damn well that it's not gonna work out for both of us. Coming home from work getting to talk to your favorite person, yet that person doesn't seem to care at all, cold replies, short text, late replies. I kept convincing myself that it's probably just one of her bad day. But that's when i realized that bad days doesn't goes on for 4 months straight. I tried talking about it, one week, ONE WEEK, everything is back to square one, cold replies, short text, late replies. That's when i started asking myself "What am i holding on for?", "Was it love?", "Was it that i've stayed with that person for so long that i can't live without them?", "Was it the time we spent together that i don't wanna let it all goes to waste?", "Was it to the point that staying with that person is apart of my habit?". Those are all the questions that keeps popping in my head. I've lost pieces of myself staying with that person without realizing it until it was too late for me and now I'm lost, i couldn't find myself anymore. I've lost myself trying to be with you.

2025-08-14

Commitment

What if they say they love you too but they don’t want commitment for now?

2025-08-14

“I hate the idea of lonely and I hate the reality of attachment”

I should let them go, right?

2025-08-14

To the guy I love most, Sophea.

YOU FELL OUT OF LOVE when I am still in love with you, I became a one sided love without realizing. Remember the last time you said you love me? It's been too long since I last heard your voice. I miss that. You said you were gonna call me after you finished your work but you never did, till now. Still waiting for your texts like how I used to. I'm not blaming you. You said you were gonna take me to a burger shop ( I stopped eating burgers since I thought I would have it with you, screw me), when you finished all the work, drinking our favorite milk tea, going out for dinner. I know you were still in love with me during that time but I didn't realize that I would become a burden after time passed. My notifications didn't make you feel better, you ignored me. My presence doesn't make you feel excited, you don't wanna talk to me. Everytime I ask, it annoys you. You could clear off your schedules but you didn't because you thought I would ask you to spend time with me and it annoyed you or maybe not because I was never really on your mind or I was just nobody. Sorry, I have no idea what made you become like this.

2025-08-14

Maybe that’s who I am

So, I rejected my crush after he conveyed his feeling to me. It’s funny how the result should have made me happy, yet it turned out to be something scary to me. I want him to receive the sincere love from me but I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to love anyone properly. It feels like all I can do is just let me live with this feeling alone and he can just ignore me. Because it’s always better to never get started rather than having to leave him in the future. I don’t want him to be hurt. At least, right now he can forget about me more easily. -t.o.

2025-08-14

Unknown feeling

I have met someone for almost 1 year and I started to feel like he is warm when I stay with him without any love feeling. I don’t feel on him but I just wanna stay with him, talk to him, play with him as normal but more than other. I keep thinking about him everyday, checking his personal life even his ex. But the matter is that I don’t feel on him, I don’t want him, I ask myself again and again but the answer is nothing. Moreover I don’t feel excited or shock when I meet him but I want to talk or to see him. So Is it called love or normal?

2025-08-14

Until then...

Maybe one day, we'll meet again and explain to each other what really happened. Maybe one day we'll finally understand. Until then, I hope you live your best life and I hope you really do all the things you always wanted to do.

2025-08-14

Brief Encounter

To "you", I still remember our first encounter very well. It was a few years ago, it was when I was about to go home but I saw you were struggling with getting your bike out. We were total stranger to one another (even for now). So, I decided to help you. It was a little bit windy day, and as I was helping you, because of a light blow of the wind, flipped up your skirt a little bit. I thought maybe it was uncomfortable for you because of the wind, so I offered my jacket for you to cover yourself, but lucky, you got a motorbike tower of your own. (Sorry for too detail) After I got bike out, we exchange a normal pleasantry, "Thank you very much","you're welcome" and we part way. I only happened to know that you and I were in the class after the incident day. However, back then, I was in my rough patch, and it was so rough that I decided to drop the course. However, Within those few years, you always cross my mind, and I kind of have a fondness for you as well, even though we never got a chance to know each other. I really do wish and hope that we will have our paths cross once again, then we can get to know each other, and somehow, I hope we can work it out, and we end up being together. I really think that you are a very sweet and nice person, I really really like to know you. As if you were book that I would spend the rest of my time to read. (Even I'm not quite a reader) Hope you see this, and hope you remember me as I remember you. From a stranger.