How it went

Yes! You ignore small things I raised. So whenever things went wrong, I told you so. I ask for things to be fixed. I didn’t stay quiet. I told about whatever disturbing my mind. But you seemed to be so careless. I was wondering is that how you love someone? How could you not give a damn about everything? I was devastated because of your replies: "ប៉ុណ្ណឹងសោះ" , "ចរិតខ្ញុំតែប៉ុណ្ណឹង" , "រឿងចឹងក៏គិតដែរ",etc. So instead of considering changing or solving, you just let the argument go overnight, and act like nth happened in the next morning. That's how things get worse. And the worst is when you finally admit that you can't change! That was when I finalize us cuz you didn't commit to be fixed. All you said was " That is how I am.". People changed for betterment, especially lovers make changes to adapt with one another. But I learned that trying alone is not gonna make things last. That was enough (your answer)! You don't know how to love, or maybe you love in other ways which I might not have the ability to understand your love language. All I know is if I were you, I wouldn't let my lover go through the night where everything weren't even given a reasonable explanation. You overdo of "This is how I am.". Sorry, but I lose you to find me. So do you! You lose me to mature your thoughts. "Love once again when you become a man." -anonymous

Feeling bottled up?

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A bad friend

This is not a story but it is a apology letter to my friend. I am sorry for being a bad friend. I am sorry that for these past days, I’ve been ignoring you. It is not your fault but it is mine. The reason is because I am mad of myself. I am mad because I am such a horrible friend for getting jealous of you. I envy everything about you; however, this envy turns into jealousy. Your studies are going very great, you got a real job and you manage to make lots of friend. While me on the other hand, my studies is going down, I don’t even have a real job and I barely make any friends. You are such a great friend to me. I am very happy seeing you on your way to your success, but I couldn’t help to compare your success with my failure. I sincerely apologize to you my friend. It was wrong of me to get jealous. I won’t ask you for your forgiveness. Please continue on your great journey to success my dear friend.

Stop pretending

Faking your care toward someone is the cruelest thing you can do.

🎲

How does it feels to be dating for almost a year now but you never opened up about this relationship proudly even on stories. Maybe I’m the source of the embarrassment? Or I’m just one of the choices?

Love

Is it even real?

Freedom

Being in a relationships mean to understand each other’s need, love, affection and the freedom they wanted. But sometimes I wanted you to understand that I also need your love and affection back. There are days where I just felt like I’m in love alone. Everybody is busy, and I tried to understand that. And yeah, sometimes I know you’re just fake busying, I knew about it but I just stay silent so that you can have your freedom. But I don’t get why the type of freedom you’re doing is just to go around and flirt others, following new people on sns, text with them while you’re just ignoring me, who patiently waiting for your text. Should I let you go?

From the beginning, I already knew, that it wasn't going to be me.

I fell for you. Over and over. Repeatedly, I let you hurt me and come back. For so long, I made these excuses in my mind that made me believe that I meant more to you than I probably ever did. I vividly remember the days when you left and I would spend hours crying. My chest was heaving with the pain that came with being the second choice once again. I’ve spent years instinctively looking for any remnants of you. Hoping that one day you would simply realize everything that you did wrong. But sadly, I found myself wishing for things that wouldn't happen. I fell into that familiar second choice again. Maybe it’s my fault for letting you, for always sitting within your peripheral vision and being someone you could run back to. Maybe it’s my fault for not standing up for myself sooner. I spent so much time wondering why I was never good enough to be that first choice. Never good enough to be the one you felt you needed. As I watch you search for something you’re looking for, I silently sit back here holding my tongue while I try not to tell you that it’s me. But maybe you don't feel the same and it’s easy for me to say that I’m not a second choice. And yet, every time you come back, I find myself falling all over again. Knowing within me that I will always be the backup plan. I always go in with a strong will and a solid wall around me and I always come out with a broken heart. Maybe that’s my life, my destiny as some would call it, to always be waiting for you to choose me first. Maybe one day I’ll wake up and realize how much of a first choice I truly am and finally let you go. Until then I’ll stand here feeling much like the someone who’s always chosen last because maybe I am, after all, just a second choice.

Maybe in another life, where fate wouldn't be as cruel.

Have you ever seen couples whose have healthy relationships that meant together, would have happily ever after but out of sudden decided to go to separate way yet still loves each other?. Until these days I have seen a lot of couples that break up because of incompatibility. Not until it happened to my sister and I started to question that “Is there as such a thing as right person at the wrong time?”. Meeting the right person at the wrong time can be life changing when it doesn’t work out the way we desire. It’s harsh to accept but I wish that they would have a happy ending. Seeing them from strangers to friends to lovers, then strangers again, I just hope the cycle brings their souls together one last time.

I’m sorry

Hmmm That’s my last text Sorry i knew that I’ve hurt u million times Sorry we can’t be back tgt Sorry cause my guilt are too big I can’t let u forgive me easily. Sorry that I made your day become the worst after your whole tiring both physically and mentally Sorry that I turned u down again and again Sorry that I can’t hold u long enough Sorry that I disappointed u Sorry I’m too selfish that I always want to be ur friend again Sorry I’m too selfish that I don’t want to be with u but I also don’t want u to be with someone else !!!! Billion sorry that I wanted to tell u but I can’t. I still love u however I have done enough to deal with my imaginable problem and I can’t share it with u. I can’t hold u any longer. Sorry my mental issue gonna hit me up again if I stay in relationship. Sorry that I made u become a drunk, stress, toxic person for the last 3 months. I’m sorry even we back tgt we still not the same since I’ve changed. I’m not the girl that u love anymore. Still Loving u was like a dream, a dream that i would never want to wake up Anyway hope u and her get along tgt. I hope that she will give u all the love that u deserve to receive. Hope that she treat u right. Hope that she’s the one that u’ve been searching for. ❤️💛