But what if I fail? what if fail?what should I do? What am I going to do next? What's their first impression when they know that I fail?what if they hate they? disgusted me? disappointed in me? scold me? look down on me? what's going to happens? should I just kill myself right away?I don't know I just knew that if I am really fail, the next thing is I'm not in my right mind,my mental health is unstable,all I can think is die cause im scared to tell them,I don't think I have any courage to tell them,I don't think I am brave enough to see their reaction after I tell them that I fail.. If I actually going to fail ,all I want is someone I trust to be by my side,I don't need their comfort words,all I want is someone to sit by my side and stop me from killing myself cause I can't trust myself..I just can't. But I don't have anyone.None. all my favorite people are gone. They're too far away. #BacII14/11/22
I don’t even know that I have feelings for u. You seems like a funny person and my type IG bcuz u just caught my attention. Even if we never met but I wish one day we’ll talk to each other instead of reacting haha on each other posts. ><
I’ve seen a lot of post about suicidal thought and people trying to commit the act. I just want to tell those of you who are struggling out there that “it’s alright”. It’s alright, I’ve been through this before as well. Although I’ve never been that suicidal, the thought of “if my life ends, then many problems and burdens will be solved” did cross my mind. It takes a lot of willpower and strength to get through this phase as I would shut myself inside my room all day and night and on social media during my high school years. There were times I was upset with my parents, of them blaming me, and scolding me for various mundane things that happen in our everyday life. However, I want to tell you that it’s alright to run to your parents and hug them with all you have, they would not mind it even if you guys are currently in an argument. It’s alright to tell your friends and others “I cannot do this anymore. I’m tired and wanna be left alone”. It’s alright to feel overwhelmed and go through this phase, I believe we have gone through this teenage and young adult phase at least once in our lives. I am not telling you that suicide is wrong and you shouldn’t do it, I am trying to say that it should be your very last option. Wallow in your tears, your sadness, your stress, your burdens, your self-pity all you want. Most people blame themselves for not being good enough rather than actually addressing their fears and inhibitions. Perhaps it is easier to ignore all that is happening around you. I am not entertaining nor romanticizing suicidal thought, but if you still cannot find a better option or a better way to live your life, then it is alright to end it.
Pretty as flower Cold as the wind breeze You will always shine, Our memories will stay but neither of us will be together.
Just as the title. We've been close friends for years, and just recently, I've realized that I may have started to see him as more than a friend. I really enjoy his company. I feel safe around him, and he's my go-to person when I'm feeling happy or feeling down. In fact, I'm a person with a plan, and when I was thinking of my future, he comes to mind too. I know it may sound very cliche but that is the moment I realize I may have liked him more than a friend. However, I'm still very confused because I've known him for so long, so why now? Is it because we've been there for each other because we've been abroad through difficult time so we comfort each other? Is it because I was worried that he may feel lonely or even depressed during the lockdown so I kept on checking up on him? I don't have any answers to this and I hope I can be sure of my feelings soon. Just want to share this in case anyone has also experienced this.
I build a dream to be free, to write my own story, to dominate my destiny. I lose my sleep fighting for victory, gather my energy to outrun difficulty. But fate has never favored me and luck has never served me. I know my tears and dedication and the struggle to reach my passion. But my ambition and expectation crush down to disappointment. Now I'm all broken. In dark moment, I'm getting away from the sky like I never ever gonna fly again. Will I discover my light and light up my dark night? Will all my trial someday win over all the fight? Maybe someday, I will reach the peak and claim my championship. Cus with new hope, my faith in me is reignited.
Since I broke up with my ex bf in March 2021, I never had any bf until now. Not because I didn’t fall in love with anyone else. It’s because I used to asked s1 abt feeling during I broke up. And the answer is “ death both side”xD. And yeah at the time he’s the only person that I chatted with, told him how’s my feelings, sometime cried while sending my voice to him. Then we haven’t chatted for awhile. Currently, And he just text me and get on with each again.
What would you do if you found out you're just an alternative or a shadow to his ex? Do you feel hurt? Angry? Hatred? Because I do. It was not wrong to not love somebody. What's wrong is how you keep telling me how much you love me, then keep going back to your ex. What's wrong is how you told me to forget the past and start it all again, then betray me and do all those things again the next day. What's wrong is how you told me to put my heart into trusting you, but you're using my trust against me. You kept saying you love me, but that's not love. There's no way you can love me when you still keep everything from your past. There's no way you can love me when you can fall in love with another girl within a week. There's no way you can love me when you regret being with me and hope you have chosen her instead. The funny thing is, people hurt me, but I'm now the bad guy. I hope all those people who did me wrong, who invalidate my feeling, who blame me for reacting the way I did, will all get their karma very soon. I have all this rage in me because I'm the one that has been suffering. To the people that said that it was normal and I was the one that overreacting, I hope you will be treated like this for the rest of your life. I was never someone who hold a grudge and be so revengeful, anyone who knows me knows how I always forgive people, but not this time. I choose to heal in hell.
i really hate myself for doing things out of my own control sometimes. my red flag always chasing people away because they cannot handle it. my relationship end because of that, my few talking stages end also because of that. really hate myself for being a major problem here!