But what if I fail? what if fail?what should I do? What am I going to do next? What's their first impression when they know that I fail?what if they hate they? disgusted me? disappointed in me? scold me? look down on me? what's going to happens? should I just kill myself right away?I don't know I just knew that if I am really fail, the next thing is I'm not in my right mind,my mental health is unstable,all I can think is die cause im scared to tell them,I don't think I have any courage to tell them,I don't think I am brave enough to see their reaction after I tell them that I fail.. If I actually going to fail ,all I want is someone I trust to be by my side,I don't need their comfort words,all I want is someone to sit by my side and stop me from killing myself cause I can't trust myself..I just can't. But I don't have anyone.None. all my favorite people are gone. They're too far away. #BacII14/11/22
I used to be that type of person too tho:). I find it easy to cope stress on my own but one day you might just losen out for a really big time. So, it's better to let your friend know even if it's hard for you to open up. Just spit a bit even if it's seem nonsense to your friend. This is weird for me to share my experience with a stranger xD.
Anyone know how to get over it ? From a man who’s almost achieves his dream and now he’s nothing left to lose.
If you ask me, it breaks me in million of pieces trying to say " No, it's the end between us." I badly wish you were the right one, who came in the right time. But being in a relationship with you really make doubt if it was not a mistake. It's silly, but it has be admitted that loving you each and every cost the loss of myself. I have felt the loss and miserable self for a long time ago before I finally asked for closure. Tbh, loving didn't make me feel exited to discuss about our future at all. Instead, I spent most of the time trying to figure how to detach myself from you. I questioned how can I unlove you. The only thing I felt was falling for you too deep that I still wanted your love while knowing I was being ignored and mistreated for many times. I was trying my best to fight with my heart, and let the love go. I did give you chances, too. But you ruined them yourself. You came and ask for the last one??? No, darling. NOT AGAIN. You know when you go against your conscientiousness, ego, pride to admit that you should have said "I will try to change for you." on the night be broke up, I went through sadness again. Why? I have to keep my answer unchanged even though I badly want to be in love with you. I was afraid to love you again, to lose myself again, to know that hurt me again, and still love you. I was so scared. What if I started to never recognise my worth, and blindly love you again? What if it happened again? I don't know if I could save myself one more time if I let you in my life for the last time. I wish you know how to love me. Just a little bit more. That could have been enough for us... I'm sorry! But you're late to do so.
Thanks for letting me getting this out as this is something I can't normally share with my friends. I have been together with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He's someone I can share everything with and someone I'm comfortable to be with. We are on the same page in term of life goals and other stuff. I have no eyes for anyone else or think about having choices because my life already suffered me enough and I love him. I long for someone who share the same passion and energy as I do and someone I can RELY on. My boyfriend is great but there are certain times that I feel like if something were to happen in the future, I'll be the one who has to take control. Those certain times and little things make me doubt if I can stay with him because I don't want to be unsatisfied after I'm married, right? I don't want to leave him but personality traits aren't something I can change. It's started to build up inside me and it affects my action towards him too. I feel like shit. ដូចគ្រប់គ្នាតែងនិយាយថាការហើយអត់សប្បាយចិត្តព្រោះប្តីឬប្រពន្ធពឹងពាក់មិនបាន. I don't want that. At first, you love each other unconditionally and as times goes by, you realize that there many things to look for. Love doesn't solve the problem.
Is there really a way to stop missing someone? Cos if you already kept your pride aside and tried to initiate but their responses kept on disappointing you, there isn't anything much you can do. What if years from now you still long to see them? What if every little things you see keep reminding you of them? What if you still look for closure knowing damn well they don't care about you? But then again, do all these questions even make any sense if it's a scenario between people who didn't even date, if it's just a one-sided thing?
I have never realized how painful it is to be avoided by someone who once could easily brighten my day up by just showing up in front of me. To the man who would put me first before anything else, do you recollect the moments we spent together? How have you been doing after the day we no longer talked to one another? Could I ask for those days to happen once again? And could you call one last time so that I don’t regret not picking up your phone the last time you called me? You have every reason to hate me, but you can’t expect me to do the same. I’m good at hiding my feeling but that doesn’t mean my heart is not breaking seeing you attempting to avoid me at all cost.
You have no idea how much I miss you right now and how badly I wanna text to you. But don’t worry I won’t disturb you anymore. Thank for those moment you made me feel like im the one but you have somebody else.
Both of us ignore each other, but I’m the only one who feel so uneasy and hurt. Because I do it on purpose, mute his account and try so frkin hard to ignore the pink ring around his ig pf. But he ignore me so effortlessly :> like how cool I want to be cool like you so bad. And yep it would be funny to say we’re not lover just two person who hid themselves behind the wall but end up open up to each other. I don’t know if that fate or just random encounter but I do appreciated all those unsure moments.