Have you ever felt a wind of change? Have you ever noticed that one moment when you are all-in to do something for that someone? Have you ever thought of the one that changed you? I have been asking myself the same questions overtime.
I always asked myself why; why did I have to change my own characteristics just to get along with someone else? And the only answer I could think of is “she is the one”.
She is the one who taught me patience, the one whom I pledge my loyalty to, and the one whom I care for the most. I recalled that moment when one of my closest circle ask me: “… do you have someone in your eyes?”, and I responded “Oh yes! Her… the one from several years ago.” That response sent shockwave to the rest of my circle. They immediately questioned me of the progress I made. My answer disappointed them a lot. “It is a long story,” I said.
Why haven’t I move on? The only reason I haven’t move on is that I could not find someone else who possess those traits of hers. It is true that I am a flirtatious young adult who fond of girls, especially those in my age or older, but when it comes to the real one — the first lady — I would stick to that girl. Stupid, right?
I realise and admit that I usually fell in love at first sight. A lightning storm that usually ended up in a mess. And it has been years now, and we never talked, we never engaged in a long conversation, although time gave us many good opportunities to start things up. At some point, I even think that she hates me… like… she hates me so much that when we see each others, our eyes avoid one another, trying to avoid any contact. Things went back to the ICE AGE, when coldness and ego took over our respective selves. Even our zodiac signs are completely opposite from each other.
Maybe I was right to avoid her? Or maybe it was just a new beginning? Or maybe it was a hint to something mysterious? Who knows!
So what did she do? She dragged me out of my old self, my arrogant self. I left my assertive way of life, the aggressive behaviour behind, and embraced change. By looking back at my own past, I saw my old self fallen in an endless pit of darkness. Thanks to her presence, I walked on this path. Oh… and she was also the one who indirectly encouraged everyone else to discover beyond the boundary. But that does not mean every one of my activity is done on her behalf. It is a big NO.
I could say that she is a guardian angel, who is loved by many of her inner circle, respected by many others, and adored by someone like me.
My message would be: Let’s find a good time to talk this out. We have lots of things to catch up to. Shan’t we?
And even though, we grow apart our inner little children call out for one another. You are not alone.