Is it part of growing up?

Every year on this time, my birthday, I feel empty. I feel tired, pressure, and stress. Is it because I grow older, I got more responsibility. People may enjoy their birthday, but not me. I do not know why this happen. I noticed that in the last few year, I’ve been feeling the same. No excitement, nothing. NOTHING. I do not understand myself. I could not express in words. It just stuck in my mind, my body, my soul. Is it happen to everyone? Or just me? Writing this made me want to cry much, but there no tear left in me. If you have seen this and feel the same way, I hope you find your happiness and stay strong. #Fromaguywhobottledupeverything.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Always you!

To you my priority, since the day you left, I’m certain that I’m not the same person as I used to be. I’m sure that my feeling right now isn’t okay and it hurts me the most. I wanted to let you know that, you’re the only one who made me know what love is, you’re the only one who made me feel warm and secure while I was with you, you’re the only one that my love for you is still the same since our first day until now, you’re the only one whom I have any plans for the future. All of the sacrifices, efforts, and times that I put in, I didn’t expect anything in return, other than your love and dedication. I did everything just to make you feel that you’re the only one that got all of those things from me, not everyone else. I did everything just to make you feel happy, warm, and comfortable. I’ve never stopped daydreaming about how I’m going to build my life, buy my first house, first car with you, and marry you one day. You know what? I see you every two weeks, and when I return home I feel as if I've lost something that no one or nothing can replace. I had the feeling that I was leaving something behind that would never come back. I miss you, I'm upset, I didn’t want to return home, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the only one, when I’m having fun and all I could think of is what if you were right here with me? I’d go on trips and while living in the moment, I allowed my imaginations to get ahead of me and I was able to picture you beside me and I got that feeling of “how nice would it be for you to be here with me”. To me, you’re perfect. To me, you’re beautiful as always in my eyes. I’m grateful you came into my life, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. My love for you hasn't changed, and no one can take your place in my heart, my mind, and my brain. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. Sorry that I can’t keep you by my side. I’m still hoping everyday that you will come back to me again. You’re special to me. I’m so proud to have you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your photo is still in my wallet, and your picture is still on my lock screen wallpaper. I wrote these letters with a song that I used to sing for you, When you’re home - Tyler Shaw. It’s 3AM now and I’m still thinking about you. I hope you will come back to me! #NL

2025-08-14

I don't know

''It never stops hurting, does it?" ''What?" "Giving someone the best of you and watching them choose someone else."

2025-08-14

A secret untold

My mom married this guy since I was like 8. We've been living together like a family but I'm not close to my mom neither do her husband. I don't call that guy dad either. They had two kids together, my younger siblings and I have a family bond, we're close to each other. But started when I'm grown up, this guy somehow touched me jokingly. Sometimes this guy would laugh and touch my toes, hands, and there's one time he pointed my boob. That makes me very uncomfortable and I couldn't point him out since he acted like it was unintentional. One time he showed me my picture (I stand and bend my back, it was a picture took from a trip) and said laughing, look at your picture it looks like... He didn't finish his sentence but you should know very well what he means. Normal people wouldn't look at one's picture and think about that unless they have lewd thought with them. I think he secretly watched me showering at night too by some hole on the bathroom's wall (they intended to make another bathroom but til now they didn't do it yet) I was too slow to notice. Every time I'm in the shower he would disappear too, and every time he heard me entering the bathroom he would go outside the house even if it's 12am and cameback right in time when I'm done. About my mom, I think she suspects this too. But instead of holding her husband accountable. She confronted me instead, I was so upset. Imagine your own mother is jealous of you and her husband and she's too scared to lose that guy and started confronting you. She really makes me lose faith in mother-daughter's bond. I know we're not close but this is too much. She questioned me everytime like I was a prisoner but never says a word to her husband. I'm starting to hate her now. Fuck. I hate this so much. I've never said a word about this to anyone because I think I can hold in. But it started getting heavy now.

2025-08-14

It is what it is

Well....... I've been in hell loop for a while. I already accepted it as what it is. I haven't moved on, but I am indeed moving forward.🤷

2025-08-14

Emotionally neglected kid.

My parents’ marriage was a train wreck. They were unsuited to one another, married for the wrong reasons, and stayed married for the wrong reasons. It did us kids a world of damage from which we will never completely recover. It also taught us some important lessons, largely about what NOT to do! I loose my belief in relationships. They taught me everything about what a marriage shouldn't be like. my parents fight all the time, and they never hide from me. As long as I can remember, they fight about everything, when one of them know he/her is wrong but didn’t care to admit it and the only best thing they have as a couple is that neither of them never cheat on each other or even alcoholic. When I need to take major life decisions, it always gets confusing because of how both of them have different views of things. And they don't communicate so I find myself stuck. As a mother, my mother is a good one. And my dad is a good dad too. But together they are far from the ideal couple. Have you ever heard of “គូកម្ម” ?

2025-08-14

The reason that I will never know

I once had a close friend who’s now a stranger!Well, been a long time since you left me. We used to do lots of things together, walk to school, have meals, watch movies, ….but one day you just left me, ignored me, you act like you haven't known me and I didn't why! I decided to text you,I ask you what wrong with you? Did I do sth wrong?Why did you ignore?I apologize for all my mistakes even I don’t know what did I do wrong. You said I didn't do anything wrong and there're no reason it's your decision to leave. I can't stop so I have to let you go.Since the day you've changed till now I keep asking myself what’s your reason , why did you decide to leave me!It’s weird how time changes things.I will never get angry with you .I hope you are doing well....!

2025-08-14

The saddest thing …

The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you :)))

2025-08-14

i'd call him "my dream"

Hii there Thya!!! Idk if u ever noticed me but, here I am, confessing sth that's been on my mind recently and i'm afraid to tell u. Because i know you dont have any feeling towards me more than just a facebook's friend. I keep reacting on your post everyday hoping you would notice me even i know you already like someone else. ;(( some people called someone they like as a "crush" but i called you "my dream" because i know you and i will never ever be together... u're like the moon... too high to reached and there're many stars beside u... too shy to say but i hope u'll say u like me too. 🥺 it's hard seeing you share about u liking other girl thats not me, but as long as u're happy, i'll always be happy for you. <33 *sending love... *From a girl u'll never notice🥺