Habits
I can easily forget someone who loves me but I can’t easily forget someone who doesn’t love me.
I’m wondering if he hates me that’s why he blocked me. :) loved him so much still do but what can you do when a person want to leave? And this pretending that everything is fine sucks. It’s been 6 months and I still can’t move on. Really hate this.
I can easily forget someone who loves me but I can’t easily forget someone who doesn’t love me.
MY FLAWS. I thought we were supposed to talk about our problems and solve them together. You told me how you don't like me doing shitposting, being shady about you. I stopped. I didn't know it would bother you that much. All those shitposting and shady posts aren't about you, I swear. I know those are not reasons and I was right. It was my attitude. I thought you would talk it out but you didn't, you chose to leave me while I'm still in love with you. I didn't know I have such an attitude to make you lose feelings for me, if so I'm sorry. I was not pressuring you, I never ever or even think about making you love me the way I want. Maybe my actions or how I talk seem like that but I'm not that type of person. I told you I'm an attention seeker. Of course I always try to seek attention from the guy that I love, the guy that I prioritized first, the guy that I would do anything for and it's you but I know what is right and what is wrong. Who knows you got the wrong idea about me. I'm not trying to act like a victim here and I was never one. I'm just trying to tell you about what I wanted to say and how I felt.
ហេតុអីប៉ានិងម៉ាក់គិតថារឿងរបស់ពួកគាត់នឹងមិនប៉ះពាល់ដល់កូនៗ នៅពេលកូនត្រូវគេងយំដោយសាររឿងរ៉ាវទាំងអស់នោះ ដោយរាល់ជម្លោះសម្លាប់ទឹកចិត្តរបស់កូនដែលចង់រស់នៅស្ងាត់ស្ងៀម ទោះគ្មានក្តីសុខពិតប្រាកដក៏មិនចាំបាច់ឮការស្រែកទៅវិញទៅមក…កូននៅកណ្តាលពិបាកសម្រេចចិត្តណាស់ កូនពិតជាអត់ដឹងគ្រប់ជ្រុងនៃរឿងនីមួយៗទេ…កូននៅខាងណា សូមកុំបន្ទោសកូន.. កូនមានអារម្មណ៍ថាហត់ណាស់ រងសម្ពាធណាស់ ចង់នៅស្ងប់ស្ងៀម។ ប៉ាម៉ាក់ និងគ្រប់គ្នាប្រាប់កូនកុំអោយគិត តែនៅជាមួយគ្នាក្រោមដំបូលផ្ទះតែមួយ ជួបប្រទះឮផ្ទាល់ខ្លាំងៗ អោយកូនធ្វើមិនឃើញ មិនឮយ៉ាងដូចម្តេច…But I’m always grateful and thankful for everything. Tried to not think about it for days, weeks and years. Yet I’ve come to stressed myself to the point I lose interest in things I find interesting and enthusiastic for years. The longing for peace, and happiness continues but diminishes in chances too.
called mom and told her I‘ve been struggling with my mental health And she called me weak
Generally, I’m a happy person. I laugh a lot, I smile a lot. My friends called me “យាយប្រិមប្រិយ”. It's hard to see me without a smile on my face. Everyone thinks that I don't have any problems in my life, since I always laugh and smiling in every pictures that we captured. Deep down I’m slowly dying day by day. I literally cannot find any form of joy in my life. I feel like I can't show my real feelings; I feel like I have to keep smiling and i feels really guilty if I tell them about that because it’ll ruin their day. I’m jealous to those who brave enough to talk about it especially admit that they’ve suicidal thoughts. Smiling and laughing has become a reflex for me and it’s easier for me rather than tell them what’s going on. I no longer “ME” for a long time ago but nobody noticed it. I feel like someone is clawing away at me on the inside. I feel so empty. I don't know what to do.
There was a guy that catch my eyes back then during my parent working trip at KPS since 2015. Our eyes catch while I was on my way down the stair and it keep bothering me for around one year and thanks god in 2017 I can forget it because I was busy studying for my BACII . I never thought that we could meet again but in 2018 I end up working in the same place with him until now. I use to be someone who good at controlling myself when it comes to feeling and always try to calm myself down for these few years but lately it seem to be out of control and I cannot stop thinking about him. He keep looking at me when we meet and when our eyes meet my heart keep racing. I always trying to avoid but the more I try the more we accidentally meet. I just don't know what to do now...it's so confusing.....
I fought for you and I waited… I thought I could fix you. I chose you, again and again…. but you chose to be an immature man who refuse to communicate and be responsible for your own life. There is no commitment now. Be free. I will move on and love like I’ve never been hurt. I deserve better and I will grow to be a better person. You can go live and sort yourself out. Because this time, I choose to fight for my own happiness. The next man deserves the best of me, not what you put me through.
តើនេះជាកម្មមែនទេ? មានអ្នកតាមស្រឡាញ់តែមិនព្រមស្នេហ៍ ខ្លួនវិញតាមគេដូចឆ្កែ តែគេទុកដូចសំរាម 🤡