I've had several relationships. They are of different life lessons. But good or bad? Honestly, I don't know. Few years now, I've had my eyes on someone. Talked once, wasn't really a conversation. Friends told me to go for it, but in my mind I just feel like there's no chance. Somehow this one-side, distanced love doesn't make me sad or depressing. Nor happy. I feel like knowing that she exists is good enough for me to live my life. I don't know if years ahead I still feel the same. Maybe this is selfish, maybe this is me settling down, maybe not, I don't know.
I miss the days that I drove you home, miss having you by my side, cuddling, as well as the long journey we had shared. Itβs sad having to accept the fact that one of us had to part from each otherβs in order for things to work out. You were a gf, best friend, and a mom. From someone once was your Antman π
We used to be best buddies but look at us now, we are stranger with unforgettable memories. You are now starting a new life with new people but me, myself and I still struggling with the pain you gave:) the love you gave, the things you gave, how much iβve suffered because of you I'll count it as memorable moments I was with youβ€οΈ We shared things tgt. We enjoyed a day tgt but at the end itβs only stupid me whoβs waiting for you to comeback even though I know youβll never comeback, I'm still praying for you from the darkest place you couldnβt see. You were my enchantΓ© π
We all wished to have been born in another country than the one we have gotten. Regretfully we cannot control our fate. However, we are individuals with free will, and it is up to us to do whatever it takes to rightfully get to a country that we wish to have been born in. Here is my story: I felt the love for another personβs country and the warmth embrace of two lovely girls all the way in Northern Europe from my cozy and comfortable room in Cambodia. I met them through a mutual friend/family of mine in the summer of 2021, whom agreed to connect me with my soon-to be friends virtually to discuss on studying abroad. Right from that moment that we were connected, I felt that I was supposed to meet you. The memories and feelings that blossomed as we talked and called on our phones about 9,000 km apart still makes my heart smile as I am writing this confession now. The laughters and jokes that we shared those late nights still makes my heart palpitated just by thought of it. From the moment I expressed my love and appreciation for your country, the interest in pursuing a graduate level study in your country, and the admiration for the language of your people, you have been nothing but supportive, warmth and friendly in the cause for my struggle. You have brought peace and calmness throughout this long journey of mine. Most importantly, for every time that we talked you expects to see and awaits my arrival. For that I am π₯Ή grateful, I cannot wait to close the gaps between us.
Hey guy!!πI don't know what in my mind but I still miss you somedayπ’.I miss our text, our memories in our textπ’ I can't tell anyone and I just keep it in my mindπ I really want to read our old chat but you don't keep it for me πYou delete all our memories.You left me 3-4years ago but I can't delete you in my mind.I wish we'll meet in another life.π’ #Hβ₯
Most people can be loved by somebody in this world. It just doesn't mean that you're going to be together. But there's somebody out there for everyone.
So, I rejected my crush after he conveyed his feeling to me. Itβs funny how the result should have made me happy, yet it turned out to be something scary to me. I want him to receive the sincere love from me but I donβt know how to do that. I donβt know how to love anyone properly. It feels like all I can do is just let me live with this feeling alone and he can just ignore me. Because itβs always better to never get started rather than having to leave him in the future. I donβt want him to be hurt. At least, right now he can forget about me more easily. -t.o.
αααα»αααααΆααααΆααα·ααΆαααΆααααααααΆααα αΎα αααααΉαα αΎα ααα’αααα»αααΆαααα·αα ααααΎααα ααααΆααα·ααα ααΆαααα»αααΈα α·ααα αααα»ααα ααΆαααΌαα α·ααααα½αααα αα·α ααααα ααΉα α ααα’αα α ααααααΎααΆααα ααα αααα·αα’αΆα αααααααααΆα ααααΆα, α ααααΉαααΆααααΆααΆαααΉααααα»ααα ααααααα·α ααα’ααα α·ααα... to #K
I think Iβve built a very convenient Persona for myself to get by this world. Everywhere I go, Every group of people, or everyone that I met, I know what they see me but not in me, they find Iβm a very polite, friendly, good manner person. I know this, because that is all my persona shows them. But their instincts would tell them to be care to approach me with their good intentions, maybe itβs a friendship or love. Their instincts would tell them, Iβm not just they see, there are something more beneath that. And itβs right, Iβm hiding myself under this forged amour because I canβt be who I actually want to be. How I was treat from a very young age had traumatized me to be myself. Iβve lived my life forged with lies that I tell myself, that now it makes me terrified to unfold the truth. Now at the end of everyday, I feel so empty, like an empty void that canβt never be filled. I named this βempty binβ, because thatβs just how I am, loud but empty. Iβm tired of this life. Even though I know life is pain and suffering, but how I still couldnβt get used to if? And itβs even more tragic if you live a life with full of self-deception. lately, all I could think of is, how to die and leave no pain to everyone around me. βHow should this empty bin should leave?β¦β