Is spending time with me exhausting? What? You said it's because you tired from work, that's why you act like this? I mean you know, I'm super busy at work and I'm really burnt out too. But still, I carved out time to spend it with you, and I want our time together to be special, you know! and I bring you here because I wanted us to reconnect, and... do you seriously think I came here to just shop? I want us talking and walking together... but you always want to go eat~ is it because you're hungry or are you just trying to kill time? You don't want to do anything with me anymore, do you? 😞 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6qdzjTSgH0
I am the confessor of #KJ0217 I just wanted to say that I made it. It was super awkward at first but then things turn out better. BIG Thanks to those who give me tips cuz it really helped me a lot!🙏🏻 Proud to say I am dating my dream girl ❤️
After texting with you for so often, I realize that I have a good feeling toward you. I always get exited chatting with you, getting the butterflies in my stomach whenever you compliment me. But things go wrong when you give me an confused feelings, sometimes you make me feel like you want to chat with me and sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you make me feel like you have feeling for me too, yet you make me feel like you don’t wanna give me hope. The jokes you said, make me feel happy, hopeful and confused. Am I the one who get it wrong or you are the one who make me confused?
Day by day, I started to know where I stand in everyone’s life. I’m that friend who is there when they need something. I’m that daughter who is responsible for every big and little things inside and outside the household. I’m that granddaughter who is just a female. I’m that sister who doesn’t deserve the respect. I’m that niece who got compared with the cousins’ parents and got hated by my own cousins. I’m that girlfriend who loves too much and also being a little too much that sometimes it suffocates him. Every eyes and words that look and say to me, make me feel small worthless. Whenever i try to explain what happen and both me, I got shouted back, not listening to me, first they comfort and still act the same. It’s hard coming home everyday and get the cold look from everyone and no one in the house actually talking to you. I have to repeat myself over 3 times to get the answer or someone attention. The only time I get someone to care enough for my well-being or existence is when I commit suicide.
Is it even real?
It’s already a month since we apart. May I ask have you ever regretted about your decision that you make? I’m still think what if we still continue our status, how good or bad it is? I know our time together was short, but it is deep to me.
There is a guy who is crushing me. We met each other years ago and we never talk and get closed but I know he crushes on me by his actions to me virtually. Actually, I am very anti-social and quiet and it gets very weird and intimidating if I get into relationship with someone. I have been thinking about that guy frequently, and I want to stop thinking about him and I want him to stop crushing on me lol. I don't think I deserve someone though, maybe I don't really like myself. I have never been in relationship before and I want to be forever alone and single in this life. So if that guy confess to me directly one day, should I immediately reject him? I want to friend zone him at first and then keep him as as an older brother. I don't want to hurt him by rejecting him, but it is better to be honest with yourself first. He really deserves someone better than me. Hope that he forgets me completely as time passes.
This is my true story which I haven't told anyone beside one person... Let start from 2011, when I was 13 years old. I met a girl in my Chinese class, she was 2 years younger than me, she was a energetic, outgoing and have cheerful spirit. Our first met start by arguing with each other about her friend's table space (we were just kids XD). Then I start falling for her. However, I was overage mature, I started thinking that we both are too young, and we wont go far even if we start. Then I start suppressing my own feeling and start to feel dead inside and I became cold and speak less and less. 3 years later, we graduated from the Chinese school (Grade 9th). During the year, I also feel that she is also into me but I still think that we both were too young (at that time, I even imagined we both falling for each other and start a family, silly me XD) and slowly, I was pushing her away while I were hurting my own feeling. I planned to confess 2 years later if we both make it to the final graduated, but she dropped out and I were still hopelessly falling for her. I didn't let thing stop there, I started stalking on the social media but never have the courage to talk to her and slowly we became stranger. During the years, she started to falling into relationships and broke up over and over again, I saw her got her heart broken and it broke mine as well. How can you bear to see the person you fell in love with getting hurt again and again. Through that experience, she started to change, she started using bad words, drinking, going to club.etc. and she became a completely different person I once knew. I don't blame her for that, anyone would fall to that after got in to multiple toxic relationships. During that time, I used to told this story to my female friend and she promised me to keep it as secret and she did. That female friend also have a feeling for me but got rejected. How can you love other person when you got one deep down in the bottom of your heart. I know it hurts you alot, but please forgive me. I apologized from the bottom of my heart. I wish you met someone who would love you as much as a human heart can do. I dont want to intrude you with my story. Sorry again. Back to the story, at the time I'm writing all this, she is in her latest relationship and I wish her all the best, I hope this relationship will lead to marriage. I wish you would live a happy life. You don't deserve pain. I apologized for not being there when you suffered from all the pain you encountered. You have changed from the person I once knew to a completely different person. but my love for you won't change. Because of all that I can't fall in love easily, I start to fear the terms love. I shall put an end to this pathetic story, may be I should free myself from you and start to fall in love again (it wont the same as last time) but I will give my all in my next relationship, I wont let the person I love suffer the way we did. From the person who crushed you for 11 years... Have a good life.
We started to know each other at the University by our mutual friends a year after enrolling the University. Our class were next door and we were complete stranger. We completely came from different world. Her friends got a project. I was asked to help. We became friend at first but not really closed one. Months later, I started to care, to curious, to chase, and to chat to her. I didn't know that it was a beginning of catching feelings for someone since I have never had one. I was pretty annoying her by some of my actions because I didn't know how I should do to express my feelings. I was unreasonably angry at her when she ignored me like I was invisible. Unfortunately, I changed class to another shift. We separated. I did miss her. Whenever, she asked me for help. I never said "NO" because I made me happy for helping her. I thought alone that she would have feelings for me, too. And yeah, it was one-sided love from me. She was already in relationship with someone whom I knew at that time. My heart broke into pieces. I cried without being aware of it was a heart broken feelings. I pretended to congrats her and be laughing in front of her. Years passed by, we didn't contact. She only chatted to me once she needed helps. Still, I didn't reject any requests. She sent me some songs, yet I didn't realize what the meaning of sending a song. I asked her why she sent me songs. She said "nothing" just send to me and listen. I was so dumb or I thought that she was in relationship. I shouldn't care about her anymore. She may be breaking up with someone I know. And, getting into another relationship. I also realized that. I always kept my distance just don't want to hurt myself more than before. She did reply to my story sometimes. I didn't reply much as before. Yeah, my feelings for her still remains the same until now and it's been 4 years. I met new people. Those closed friends told me that I should move on and opens for new one because she didn't have any feelings for me as they can assume of my storytelling. We both don't cut each other off. We are still contacting. We sometimes talk deeper, flirting, and argue. However, I don't really want to express my feeling because I don't know whether she is available. Whatever, I still care, love, stand behind her, buy her food. I do everything I could do for her in the name of her friend. You will always be in my heart, my friend. 👩❤️👩