🐼 and I

After I got disappointed for many times until I decided to give up without any caring about him. He suddenly came to me and said "He has the same feel as me". It was a great moment for me after failing the confessions for many times. Start from that day, I can considered it as our first step being in relationships so in any special occasions like Valentine or Birthday or something, he is always in my first checklist. Normally, I am not kinda sweet girlfriend as the other girls but for sure all the things that I prepare for him, it comes from all of my efforts and from the bottom of my heart. From month to month, I feel like I am the only one who try to put effort in our relationship while he has no any action. And I start asking myself "Does he really love me? Does he really consider me as his girlfriend? If so, why don't he keep texting me? Does he want me to text him first as I used to be? Do I have to do this forever?" All the questions keep appearing in my brain. I am so tired with this relationship recently. I don't change my mind on him, I just can't put more effort to push myself to make this relationship go smoothly while I feel I am the only one who try my best to make this happen. 🥺🥺🥺 I can't find any solution instead of getting upset and thinking a lot at night alone. Miracle, please help turning him into another person of my dream 🥺🥺🥺 I really want our relationship to work well.

Feeling bottled up?

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Dont know what the title should be, I just want to get it off my chest

Im not sure where to start this and i don't want ti write a-lot either but I feel like I can’t tell or discuss anything with my best friend anymore … the thing is whenever I told her about something I want to do or what im planning to buy, she’d always do that that thing or buy those thing before me and act like I’ve never told her about it before, and it happens a lot (stupid me just notice those action when I told her i really like this short and planning to buy it (she doesn’t say anything like she wants those too) and next two or three days she bought those without asking whether we should buy it tgt and even do a mirror selfie and send it to me, like i know it’s small thing but it still hurts… even with dudes… (fyi im a shadow), if i told her there is dude I’m interested in, she’d like oh I’ll add him too or let me a game or two with them too and then they talk and become close… like i don't know whether this is normal thing to do so im not sure what to think anymore.

The saddest thing …

The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you :)))

Ghosting...

I saw a lot of confession is all about people ghosting tho... And you guys are shy to ask them. Well, to me, I had been in that situation (I am the ghost). The problem was that, I didn't know what happen around me back then. I felt the urge to be isolated from other people and just to stay alone. I bottled up my emotions all alone. Well my advice is to ask that person if there's sth you could help. :)

Is it just me?

Everytime I see a couple, I start wondering is it just me who never had good fate in love? How do people got in love so easily, how lucky are they to be around someone they love. Look at me, I never had a chance to be in that position, I wasnt able to imagine what its like to be in their shoes. Everytime I start to commit in a relationship, all the experience I got are rejection, betrayal and ghosting. Those experiences scare me. Every time I want to commit in a relationship, my memory flashback and little voice in my head keep telling me: "keep it for yourself, love is not made for you." I hate it so much. I just want to be normal 😪

Should I believe my instinct?

After turning 18 years old a day ago, one of my sister’s friends became very touchy towards me. I still remember on my birthday party, after I drank I went to sleep and he came near me and started to hug-sleep but not to hard since my sister was there too. I felt uncomfortable with him after that but decided to ignore it since I have known him for awhile. Yet, on the next day of my birthday party, I went to the bathroom and I saw his phone hanging on his pant. I was very shocked back then but still I am trying to ignore the facts that whether his intention is good or not. Should I ignore it or believe my own instinct ?

ABC

Happy

Until then...

Maybe one day, we'll meet again and explain to each other what really happened. Maybe one day we'll finally understand. Until then, I hope you live your best life and I hope you really do all the things you always wanted to do.

Imagine how things between us would be if I met you first

Lately, I realize that we all have done ignoring the “bad stuff” in the person who shattered our hearts in pieces again and again because we loved them and at the same time, we all are ignoring the sweetest people in our life to keep that person. To that sweetest person, you know what I’m regretting doing? I regret that I ignored you. Yet deep inside, I wish that I met you first. Imagine how good it would be? I sound selfish, I know but it could have been You and I. Not everyone will have a happy ending, sometimes it ended just like those Hong Kong movies. WE ALL DIED IN THE END.