Hi
How are you?
It is really hard to let go of you oun. I know that you are facing a mental problems and yeah we broke up months ago due to my ex breaking both of us up...I just want you to know that I won't be giving up on you and hoping one day you shall return to me. Please don't believe nor falling for those horrible things she said. Remembering those hard time we've been together....It really hits me most of the time because of all those struggling time I've been facing there will always be you whom is consulting me and even calm me down. I Hope You Are Coming Back Soon. I promised you that one day we will be holding each other hands in front of our parents. Moonlight ;))
How are you?
Itβs hard to βjust be friends with someone you fell in loveββ¦#Sπͺ΄
Idk where to start so, 2018 the new term start and i got to meet her. She changed into my class with her friends. Her group and mine are two different world from eachother. Actually ik her even before she got to know me. We started studying in the same class, and extra classes. I really like her and i really wanna get to know her more. One day i reply her Instagram story and we got to talk. Later on, she replied my story, and here the our conversation started. We've been texting in Instagram for like about a year. We sometimes flex to messenger. I always asked her to send me lesson as an excuse to talk to her. At that time, those conversations were just normal but i was damn happy because i like her so... Her group and mine are still not boning together idk why but prolly idk lol. We were such a good talker in chat but in person lol awkward affff So 2020, COVID. We were still texting intelegram, messenger and Instagram. She always sent me her fav songs, what she watched on YouTube, forward me food or place or meme content from Facebook to messenger, and also send me video and meme, sth cute on Instagram. I did the same too. Ik you prolly can't feel the feeling from reading this but ... Sorry I'm not so good at expressing So here let me continue Idk but tbh covid got us both close to eachother. We talked everyday, she texted me just to tell it time for extra classes, or else send me food. She sometimes went out and when she's back, she always told me about her day tho i don't ask. Tbh i confused. I myself i know i like her, i mean i have feelings for her but what about her? She did like we're sth. Idk how to explain it all here but later on when 2020 about to end, we don't talk anymore, she just went silent on me and i have no clue what to do till now. My friends all know i like her, they also said they bet her group also know about this but no one dares to say. One of my friends said, I'm too obvious whenever it comes to her, she prolly knows but pretend like she doesn't. Hmm but it doesn't matter anymore. Right now i only wish she and i can still be friends. The thing is i only got to see her like 3 to 4 times in this 2021. And the last 2 times, she didn't even talk to me or even look at me. Heartaches lol. I was there like...? You didn't see me? Or what? She has changed... I mean she's not that excited to see me like before. Before whenever she saw me she always comes to me amd hit me as a greeting hut now lol, even my face she didn't even look at. You might wonder what happened between us. Seriously i have no answer cuz I don't even know what's wrong, she just gone silent and ... You won't see this anyway so imma just write it here
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17.July.2022 Asking myself the same thing every single day "should I move on?" But everytime I see your notification pop up on my screen it always lit up the glimpse of hope inside me that one day we will be together.
There have been countless times where I've made you feel all of those disgusting feelings knowing full well how much you loved me knowing how much I hated these but I couldn't bring myself to change so suddenly. So i gave up our connection even though I still loved you dearly. Maybe that's why it pained me to see you being all hurtful and anxious because of my thoughtless actions, the thought that only me matters in our relationship. I've pictured us in a family of many pets, pictured you being the best dad and the best husband a man could ever be. That at some point i was unable to picture my life without you. But gradually, I've realized my behaviors started to hurt you, my actions began to make you doubt my love for you, we kept misinterpreting and misunderstanding each other. I tried my best to be optimistic about the situation despite being the over emotional and dramatic person i am. I have thought that with love, we could overcome everything but i was naive. I forgot that love is just the topping to the already flourishing relationship. We couldn't take each other's words to heart, you have a complete different opinion and view and so do I. So how can we expect each of us to understand each other? I've resisted the urge to approach you multiple times already since we broke up, I've cried thinking about you, i just wanted to scream loudly so the whole world know i miss you. I've missed you but I'd rather pick your happiness over this. I'll still hold the belief that you'll find someone who can shoulder all the burdens you're carrying, always be the ear to listen to your thoughts, always have the heart to open to your everything. I'll pray for you. I didn't want to make this long, but it's already long. So I wanna close this with .... I love you. Sorry that your last person couldn't be me. I will forever cherish the memories we had. Please stay safe and healthy. From that girl who let you go away.
Idk if Iβm right about this but according to Newtonβs Third Law : βFor every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.β So every time i think you , you must have think of me too
You found me when I had already been found. We were 9,118km or at least 28hr of flight apart, but you still asked me βWhatβs the name of my city?β so you could save it to your World Clock. Your city was mine too a few years ago, and you sometimes forgot that. You opened up yourself to me with an expiration date. For 3 days, getting to you know lifted me up. The 4 days following that, I hit rock bottom as I was searching for the closure that you never left me with. I wished you βHave a good life!β like I was ready to give you up. I lied, and Chungking Express lied. How can people say that missed connections donβt hurt so long when itβs been more than 7 months and I still miss you?