Toxic

I’m clingy, moody, insecure, have trust issues, self doubt, and lots of mental breakdown, which people categorize me as “toxic”. I’m trying to change. I really do, because I’m not feeling fine and happy with all those toxic traits too. I stay up every night questioning my own worth and existing. I don’t know why am I like this. And I thought, you would stay. I thought, you were different. I thought, you would wait for me to heal. Eventually, it was all my thought. Don’t take this wrong. I’m not blaming you. I was just hoping you stayed. I hope it was you who would have been there for me, but you have never been there with me on my bad days, not even once. I’m too much to be handled. I always know.[newLine*]Let’s be honest with me one last time, what is your feeling for me the last few months we talked? Did your feeling fade away? Was it not strong? From the start? Or from when I started to show you my true self? My dark side? [newLine*] I miss you, a lot. However, I know being with me is too tiring for people, I love you so much that I don’t want you to suffer with someone like me. I hope you’re with someone better, healthier, happier. Someone who loves life, someone who will match your energy, someone who is normal.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

“Chill”

No matter what kind of questions I’m bringing up it will only lead to one thing. On how you wanna be with yourself. You can’t tell someone to stop thinking and be chill with you. You make me feel like I’m asking a lot from you, while I only want 1hour to 2 hour of your 24 hour divided into any given time of the day, to do little things that make someone you care about feel a little special. It’s that kind of thing you gave up which means a lot to her. The time that you decided to spare to make her happy, does it make you a little happy to see her happy?

2025-08-14

Wrong love

I know we both are girls but I don’t know why I fall in love with you and always fell harder every time I see your smile your laugh . Thinking about it’s again I know it’s only me the one who fell and even harder.

2025-08-14

Your new favorite person

You show that you love that person You being grateful you that person You appreciate that that person love you, accept you for who you are. But one thing you don’t realize is that you get to be with that person when you have a new fancy house, a nice luxurious car, bank acc, brand new phone and many more And one thing that you forgot or trying to forget is the person who chose you since you had nothing and will alway choose you.

2025-08-14

Her.

One of the hardest things that I’m doing right now is letting go of a person whom I never thought I would do. It’s the best for myself to be able to heal. I wrote my stories here probably a few times of how I love that person but in the end we’re just friends. I still have feelings for her and I don’t think I would ever lose those feelings, but the thing is I’m moving forward. I don’t stay in the same old place with the wonderful/painful memories. Honestly, she’s the first person that I’ve loved this much and I even told her that. Still, I need to accept the fact that it’s not gonna work and our connection can only be “best friend”. She told me that she met someone and she kinda loves that him too. So yeah. Sometimes you miss the memories and the times that you had spent with them but not the person themselves.

2025-08-14

??

If you and your bf live in the same borey (literally 4 streets from each other) but he never ask you out also he rarely replies your text (4-12 hours — that’s ghosting yeah??) That means he doesn’t really like you right? The answer is clear as day yeah?

2025-08-14

Happy father's day

My mom was talking about getting a divorce, and my dad was totally bummed out about it. For like a week I was bouncing back and forth between my mom's place and my house, where my dad was. I tried to cheer him up, but he kept asking about my mom and telling me to talk to her, do something to change her mind. But, to be real, I couldn't bring myself to tell him that she had already made up her mind. So the night before Father's Day I was heading out to crash with some friends, but before I left I told him I'd be back early to make him breakfast. He was like, "Nah, that's cool." Didn't think much of it. That night I hit up a club and drink tonnes of cocktails. After an hour of feeling nothing, I started to feel dizzy and sweaty. My heart was pounding and I was losing it. I asked my friends to take me to the hospital, that something was seriously wrong. They were all, like, "Nah, you're good." Finally, this dude I just met that day, who was friends with one of my homies, drove me to his crib. I was totally freaking out the whole way home, trying to catch my breath and not die. When we got there, my body started to calm down, but I was still super weak and wiped out. I remember lying on his bed. His dog came over and curled up with me, resting his head on my leg and looking all sad. Then, like around 6am, all my friends showed up, apologizing for not taking better care of me. I asked them to take me home, but on the way there I started crying for no reason, just feeling like I needed to go to the hospital. When we got to my house, there was a note taped to the door that said, "Don't go in and call the cops. I'm sorry for being a coward." My heart already felt weak, but when I read that note it just fell apart. I was in shock, but I managed to call the police and tell them my dad had killed himself. I sat on the porch and cried my eyes out. There was a lot of crying that whole day. When my mom showed up, she was wailing and crying out, "Oh my god, oh my god." They took me to the neighbor's house and put me in the guest room. The rest of the day I was all by myself, trying to make it through. There were times when I felt like I was going to pass out. I was too weak to cry. After a while, I realized it was Father's Day.

2025-08-14

Painful 😣

It’s painful. How people does not notice if I wasn’t alright. Does my existence ever matter in this family? Why do you have to make me question myself every time to see if I really belong in this home? Does the thought of me going crazy ever cross your mind? Why do I have to suffer alone like this? I never get the answer. And I kept sinking down the hole of darkness. I used to tell people I’m so scared of the dark but now it can almost take control of me. I see no light. How am I supposed to keep going? Will there be someone who shade the light to me? I’m tired of trying alone. Trying to please everyone, when my whole damn heart is breaking down. 💔😓

2025-08-14

Love at first sight

អ្នកផឹកឡើងក្អូត អោយគេជូនទៅផ្ទះ? ចេញមុខមកភ្លាម I went to have a drink with group of guys (workmates), so did he, with his buddies too. Our table was around few steps each… His small eyes with thick glasses with his សំពោង hair really catches my eyes. I can help to join his table and asked his name yet I didn’t have confidence to share my social contact. After few bottoms up, I came back to my table. He keep raised his glass and cheer with me from other side. Finally my table was over, my workmates left the shop-I wasn’t ready to say goodbye then I joined his table. He kept asking me លើកដាច់ រួចគាត់ក៏ក្អួត ហើយយើងគិតលុយ។ ខ្ញុំផ្ញើរម៉ូតូទុកនៅហាង រួចជិះម៉ូតូជូនគាត់ទៅផ្ទះ។ តាមផ្លូវ គាត់ប្រាប់ខ្ញុំថា គាត់មានសង្សារហើយ។ សូមអរគុណ សូមជម្រាបលា។