I AM NOT OKAY

I thought I’m healed but actually I’m still crying when you pop up in my head. I really miss you, I miss your voice and I miss our late night conversation so bad. I still remember how excited I am when I first met you and still having butterflies feeling when we met. Even we ain’t couple but I love telling you about how my day went but now I have no idea who to share my stories with. It’s crazy when all the things you do to me were so meaningful to me. But I give up now because I know you and her are still in relationship. I AM NOT OKAY.

Feeling bottled up?

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How to say ''no''?

Sometimes it becomes pressure for me that I always need to say ''Yes'' to everything that my friends ask for. It's doesn't mean that I don't want to help them or whatever, but I feel really bad about it. They keep wanting me do whatever they want, I mean if they want that I HAVE TO do that for them, they always want me to do like that all the time, even I say ''I can't''. On the other hand, I still cannot say ''NO'' to them as well, whenever I say ''NO'' to them I always feel wrong but at the same time I feel pressure as well. I feel like sometimes they don't respect my decision. I swear I want to be a selfish person sometimes, I don't want to be a tool for anyone that can be using all the time like that, but I don't know HOW TO SAY NO. Tell me if i'm wrong.

feeling lately

I miss you a lot more than I realized. things keep happening and I always find myself wishing I could tell you about them.

Love yourself

Let me tell you, Your beloved will leave you s.day, love yourself as much as you can.

Sorry

បើអាចត្រលប់ពេលមកក្រោយម្ដងទៀត ខ្ញុំនឹងមិនបោះបង់អ្នកទេ គ្រប់យ៉ាងអ្នកធ្វើដាក់ខ្ញុំ ល្អណាស់ ដែលមិនធ្លាប់មាននរណា ម្នាក់ធ្វើបែបនឹងពីមុនមក ខ្ញុំសប្បាយគ្រប់ពេលនៅជាមួយអ្នក ត្រេកអរនៅពេលឃើញសារ និង notification អ្នកលោតមកលើអេក្រង់ទូរស័ព្ទខ្ញុំ ខ្ញុំសប្បាយចិត្តនៅពេលឃើញអ្នកបារម្ភ និងលើកទឹកចិត្តខ្ញុំពេលពិបាកចិត្តម្ដងៗ ចំណែកខ្ញុំវិញ មិនបានធ្វើអ្វីអោយអ្នកសូម្បីបន្តិច អាចថា ខ្ញុំងាយទុកចិត្តមនុស្សក៏បាន តែ អ្នកពិតជាល្អណាស់ ហើយខ្ញុំបែរជាល្ងង់បោះបង់អ្នក ដើម្បីមនុស្សម្នាក់ ដឹងថា ឥឡូវមិនអាចដូចមុន តែខ្ញុំក៏នៅតែចង់ប៉ះប៉ូវនូវទង្វើគ្រប់យ៉ាងដែលអ្នកធ្វើដាក់ខ្ញុំ 🙂♥️

Ex-Lover 2018

It’s been so long. I don’t think you might see this, but at least I should say what I have kept in my mind so long here. Well, there’s sometimes when I looked back to the past and I saw us. I started to wonder what went wrong. Then I realized thing that we both were so young for thing that called “ Love “. I was loving you too much, but it was never enough just because I loved you. I just loved you without trying to understand you for once. I was craving for too much attention, I was over thinking everything without knowing what you’ve been thru. Everything was just too much for us. I was so young for this rls. We can called it “ toxic rls “ too. We tried to fix it and it never worked out. At least we tried, right. I guess we’re not meant to be. We hurted each other without knowing, because we were busy blaming one another. I resent myself for blaming you after breakup when it’s also my fault. We were so immature not knowing how to communicate clearly. At least you were a person I once loved, I only pray all the best for you. We are moving on with our life now, I just wanna tell you that thank you for all the good times and I learned from our relationship alot. I’m sorry that I was never good enough. I don’t regret loving you even abit. if we cross path again, I would love to see us become the best version of ourself. I’m happy to see you’re doing okay. To you : #S

Wrong timing

Friends asked me do I like the guy I introduced to them before? My answer? Yes I do. Then does that guy like me? I guess so. Then why isnt it working? I don’t know if there is any specific right answer to it tbh. Maybe it just I’m not ready. Maybe Im still haunted by my past relationships. Or maybe I just feel like I’m not good enough for him. Or actually maybe it’s just wrong timing and it’s not working overall. We both tried our best, we both tried to give it a try again and again yet failed again and again too. I guess overall, we meant to know one another, like one another, has a chance to start it in which we blew it up, so after that no matter how many time we tried to bring it back it’s not working. Maybe this is really like “you only have one chance at love”. I like you still yet I guess it’s just not working. So just get over it and be happy, maybe not immediately but eventually, please be happy.

Ghosting...

I saw a lot of confession is all about people ghosting tho... And you guys are shy to ask them. Well, to me, I had been in that situation (I am the ghost). The problem was that, I didn't know what happen around me back then. I felt the urge to be isolated from other people and just to stay alone. I bottled up my emotions all alone. Well my advice is to ask that person if there's sth you could help. :)

Trade-off

This is a story of a unpopular boy who barely made any friend amount his classmates. One girl noticed him for being himself. Destiny brought them together then the boy have to leave the girl for 6months.However, the girl was still waiting for his return and carrying on their relationship. Good things won't last long, the time had passed by the boy's career had started to get busier and busier that's why he barely made time for his love's one. Because he wanted to achieve his goal by getting promotion so he could have more time for her. Then the boy had finally achieved his goal yet his relationship had already ridded apart. At the end he was able to achieve his dream but not his love. He had more time but had no one to spend with.......... someone who always supported and motivated him to catch his dream was gone. So that is an opportunity cost between trading off your heart and your dream : )