Missing

នឹកគេ... បើទោះជាដឹងថាគេគ្មានថ្ងៃវិលវិ

Feeling bottled up?

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New peace, new problem

At times, people mention how time heals, and I used to wonder how easily they could say that without understanding what I was going through. My problems felt small in the grand scheme of the universe, yet they were enormous in my miniature world. Despite this, I pressed on, with an inner longing to experience the beauty and terror of life. It's remarkable how unpredictable our futures can be. The me from last year would never have imagined the life I am having today. I've found peace within myself and with those around me, but as things improve, new problems arise to occupy my thoughts. I remind myself not to let these concerns disrupt my newfound peace, knowing that when I look back on my current self a year from now, these little details will likely be forgotten. So, yes, time does indeed have a healing effect even if it doesn’t look like it would help.

Farewell little squirrel

Guess It’s time that we parted our ways. I’ve really tried everything I can for you. Things I was never willing to do for anyone else... but I’ve been feeling so tired... I couldn’t see where I stand. I couldn’t see if things between us are going to be better. I couldn’t see your commitment, and I’ve waited for you long enough. So I give up. To protect the little pride I have left. Hope you meet someone better and has the same love language as you. We’re not made for each other. Farewell, love.

Dear My Little Seth <3

I hope you doing well my little Seth. I miss you so so bad. I miss the way we talked. I miss how lovely you are to me. I miss how gentle you are. I miss the way you called me my little Junn, Junn Junn, baby Junn... and I also miss your questions, are you tired? where are you now? what are you doin? have you eaten?... Even though we met by online but i admit that i like you for real. and yeahh, if we are meant to be, we will meet each other again someday. Please be safe, take careeeee, get some rest and dont forget to drink water a lot naaaaa. Sethh San, Anata ga koishī.

Friend-zone

I fell for you friendliness but things got complicated, we would flirt with each other, we went to places with each other and I thought we really had a connection. But the friendliness that I fell for became a problem, yes I became jealous. I thought I was special but I noticed that you treated other girls the same so I slowly back away and moved on. I dated someone else and slowly lose feelings for you, until it was our senior year that I fully moved on and focused on my study and relationship. Things were great until we met up again, I heard you’re dating someone new and you weren’t afraid to show her off. We stopped talking for a while and the next thing I knew, we get to talked again and open up about our feelings, you said you liked me too back then. But now it’s too late. To be honest, I’m quite happy for you. I wasn’t bitter or jealous but from time to time I wondered, what could have been if we were honest about our feelings. Then we lost contact again, I’ve broken up with my boyfriend back then and focus on my study, I didn’t plan on dating anyone after that but deep down a part of me still wondered to those good old days, the places we went to, and funny enough I forgot about you. I never got to say sweet words or appreciate your action but thank you for being the best year of my life, I was genuinely happy. A friendly advice to whoever is reading this, if you like someone please tell them, you either get accepted or rejected but at least make your feelings known to them<3

Unrequited love

I want to give up on you since it’s not going to happen. Because I clearly told me so. But all I can do is daydreaming about us being together. I’ll go to you one more time when my life is stable.

Being played???

It is probably selfish of me to assume that you were having any feelings on me like I did (kinda still do) for you. With shared interests, I thought that we were vibing just fine. Hell, you even made me feel special. I do not know much about you besides the rare and random interests that we shared, but I truly appreciate the time we spent chatting overnight at when I felt loved during my darkest times. After I learned the news about you going abroad, I felt conflicted. I knew that it was such an opportunity for you, but I also wished that I had spent more time getting to know you better. The thing is that I wanted to express my gratitude and love for you. I just wanted to put it out there. I do not have any intention of wanting to start anything anytime soon, for I do not want to mistake my loneliness and sadness for love. I held my breath for a while. I thought that I genuinely would wait for you. You truly did give me hope, but it seems to be a false hope....I feel gutted. Because after a while, I had my suspicion and learned that the whole time you were with someone else, yet you gave such a sense of love. I feel played for not knowing anything and for being given such false joy. I waited and waited for something that would never come. Maybe it is just a one-sided thing. Maybe I am feeling lonely. Then again, maybe I am just selfish, lonely, and deluded for thinking about any of this because at the end of the day I do not hold anything against you, but I genuinely thank you for all of the times and things that we shared. Lastly, I wish you the best. K

To the guy I love most, Sophea.

YOU FELL OUT OF LOVE when I am still in love with you, I became a one sided love without realizing. Remember the last time you said you love me? It's been too long since I last heard your voice. I miss that. You said you were gonna call me after you finished your work but you never did, till now. Still waiting for your texts like how I used to. I'm not blaming you. You said you were gonna take me to a burger shop ( I stopped eating burgers since I thought I would have it with you, screw me), when you finished all the work, drinking our favorite milk tea, going out for dinner. I know you were still in love with me during that time but I didn't realize that I would become a burden after time passed. My notifications didn't make you feel better, you ignored me. My presence doesn't make you feel excited, you don't wanna talk to me. Everytime I ask, it annoys you. You could clear off your schedules but you didn't because you thought I would ask you to spend time with me and it annoyed you or maybe not because I was never really on your mind or I was just nobody. Sorry, I have no idea what made you become like this.

Walked away day

Again, thanks for coming back to me and stay until our anniversary day.. I knew i am stupid to say this alone, I always remember everything of us, and i always wanted us to get back again.. But it’s never worth it, you are not in love with me anymore and you had a someone better than me , hope he can treat you better and give you whatever you want… So what i have to do , i let you go, and please don’t even look back as a friend or still remember what I have done with you! I will never bothering you again.. so hope you are doing great, always meet up with someone better as you wish. Don't worry, no one will mess your life up again, no one will ask you to stay again.. You can choose him and start over with him.. Thanks for came back again to completed our 2-years day! Saturday, 25 Sep 21 Walked away day!