The best person I know in July 18, 2021

I might be clingy, childish, and crazy sometimes. I have two personalities - a boy and a man- I know I demand your attention sometimes because All I want is to be with you- I know You love me and vice versa. I trust you and I don’t wanna lose you. Anyway we are trying to make this work and I love you to the moon and back ❤️

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

How to decide?

I told you to wait for me, it only 10 months and I will come back. But thing doesn't turn out as I planned and Im stuck with my life decision right now. So our relationship started when I moved to a country for my Master Degree. She is my junior in my faculty and we been dated for 1 year and half. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, she was everything I ever imagine in a girl. My friends told me that my life is like a k-drama series because I was never been that happy before. After almost a year of dating our relationship getting hard, you accused me as a cheater while I just did exactly what u asked me to do. You was telling me you want to get married and live a normal life like other girls and told me to start looking for someone else. My heart broke into pieces everytime I heard those words from you, I couldn't endure the pain somehow. So I was started talking to someone else while feeling really guilty to you. You caught me texting with someone else, guess what now u feel what I feel now? You asked for a break up but does not we already broke up? After a series of drama we made up ,thanks to Covid-19 for made up stuck in a house together. But the problem now I almost finished my study and I need to get back to my country. I told you I will continue my study, just wait for 10 months I will get back after I get a scholarship. I didn't understand my self y I have to grind so hard for a relationship that already broken. Even I know at the end you will not choose me, even I know u still keep texting other person. I still remember ur sobbing face when u send me off at airport, our last hug, our last meal at airport. Now 6 months had passed, I has moved to my country and it was very hard in the first few months when I was the only person who wanna keep this relationship. Even I used to get " I miss you" text from u a few times and It made me very happy but deep down I knew things changed and we ended. You told me to move on and be happy since you alr start dating someone. I don't know how to feel happy hearing this. After a severe heartache, I tell my self I wont go back to that place again and I wont let anyone hurt me again. Now I moved on, happy with my life, I able to imagine my life without u in it until I got an email telling me that I was offered a scholarship. It is a great news yes it a scholarship I prayed for before , it was a dream come true and it is a ticket for me to find you. But my head mess up, I can't decide should I accept or reject? Should I leave things I have built here and go back to suffer again? PhD is sound fancy but it also a very lonely journey and suffocation. Plus I want to build my life without u involve in it, I don't want to feel those pain again. But this time I will made a decision for me, a life decision without u involve in it... PS: We both are girls.

2025-08-14

The final date of us

My girlfriend and I had been dating for more than a year, and we shared a close friendship beyond anything else. We always understood each other and had a deep love that remained strong through all the ups and downs. However, our relationship came to a halt eventually as we realized that we were in different places in our lives. While she was only 20 and looking forward to getting married and having children soon, I was 21 and had different priorities in mind. I wanted to spend more time dating her, and I was thinking about starting a family around the age of 30. It was a tough decision, but we both knew that it was for the best if we went our separate ways. On the last day of our relationship, we decided to have one last date night. I took her out to a romantic restaurant that had live music and bought her flowers that she loved. We reminisced about our favorite moments together and talked about all the things that we would miss about each other. We discussed how we had impacted each other's lives in so many positive ways. Later in the evening, we went to see the Hobbit, which was one of our favorite movies. It was a bittersweet experience to watch the film together knowing that it would be our last time doing so. We hugged and kissed for one last time as we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. Although it was an incredibly tough decision to make, we both agreed that it was the right one. It was the perfect end to our relationship, and it allowed us to move on with our lives. While we went our separate ways, I will always cherish the memories that we created together.
2025-08-14

Are We Really FRIENDS?

We started to know each other at the University by our mutual friends a year after enrolling the University. Our class were next door and we were complete stranger. We completely came from different world. Her friends got a project. I was asked to help. We became friend at first but not really closed one. Months later, I started to care, to curious, to chase, and to chat to her. I didn't know that it was a beginning of catching feelings for someone since I have never had one. I was pretty annoying her by some of my actions because I didn't know how I should do to express my feelings. I was unreasonably angry at her when she ignored me like I was invisible. Unfortunately, I changed class to another shift. We separated. I did miss her. Whenever, she asked me for help. I never said "NO" because I made me happy for helping her. I thought alone that she would have feelings for me, too. And yeah, it was one-sided love from me. She was already in relationship with someone whom I knew at that time. My heart broke into pieces. I cried without being aware of it was a heart broken feelings. I pretended to congrats her and be laughing in front of her. Years passed by, we didn't contact. She only chatted to me once she needed helps. Still, I didn't reject any requests. She sent me some songs, yet I didn't realize what the meaning of sending a song. I asked her why she sent me songs. She said "nothing" just send to me and listen. I was so dumb or I thought that she was in relationship. I shouldn't care about her anymore. She may be breaking up with someone I know. And, getting into another relationship. I also realized that. I always kept my distance just don't want to hurt myself more than before. She did reply to my story sometimes. I didn't reply much as before. Yeah, my feelings for her still remains the same until now and it's been 4 years. I met new people. Those closed friends told me that I should move on and opens for new one because she didn't have any feelings for me as they can assume of my storytelling. We both don't cut each other off. We are still contacting. We sometimes talk deeper, flirting, and argue. However, I don't really want to express my feeling because I don't know whether she is available. Whatever, I still care, love, stand behind her, buy her food. I do everything I could do for her in the name of her friend. You will always be in my heart, my friend. 👩‍❤️‍👩
2025-08-14

To PetPet

How are you doing ? I hope you are doing fine, but I know for sure you’re not. Stop texting you doesn’t mean I stop Loving you. It’s just because I still care for you. I still cant get used to living without you since you’ve left. However, I am dying inside to see you are suffering from your own thoughts and my annoying texts asking for you to be back. I dont want to see you in pain. You are too valuable to me. I Love you and I still do. I will always be the one who is rooting for your well-being and success. I MISS YOU EVERYDAY and will always be here waiting for you, my dearest PetPet. I’m still waiting for the miracle to happen. PLEASE TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF ........

2025-08-14

Doubt

Girl! You do experience and have a long lasting realtionship but how could you do this to me? Remember when there is stranger who try to talk to your man. You act up and blow it on social media about how disspoainted, sad, anger and how much you hate or dislike girl who behave like this. Then how should i react? When it is just a one time meeting but you try to stick around, try to fit in to the circle. I know it is just about friendliness, you have it toward me too. However, I got driven away and you got a place to stand. Not just a place you found one for your friend too. That is how I got repalced. I don’t know how to feel or react. How could I being treated like this? And You too girl! I do know love can’t be forced but I can’t make myself believe that you are not related in this. Even if it was just a one time gather but you sure know the history of me and that person. Then why do you still let one of your ally in? Standing in my place? I mean if there is no you or just don’t be too friendly or just stay in your circle maybe thing won’t turn out like this. I just feel so stupid or maybe I am one. That why even after you saw me, knew everything you still find a place for her because I am just something that is already thrown away anyway and that space is empty so it got to have a replacement? I mean don’t you understand what attachment is? Or am I a narrow minded who still dwell about the past? What if you were me can you stand and watch calmly without anxious, curiosity and wonder how could it happen if you are not between it? But I am happy for you. You don’t have to imagine yourself in this situation because you got a good person by your side! Still how could you take my good person for your alliance? I felt so insecure, regret of open up and afraid of getting to know new people. But maybe I shouldn’t feel like that anymore becuase now I got nothing else to lose.

2025-08-14

I miss our moment.

I know you dont want to be in a relationship. You used to tell me that. It's my fault that i keep falling for you. You're too good to not falling for. You bought me my fav food, bring me to the place I want to go. Late night drive around city, hold hands... You gave me a tight hug, a hug i would never felt the same with anyone else. And now look at us.. we dont even talk anymore... i miss you. I miss your voice, your scent, everything about you. I miss our moment. I dont know what to call it but at least i had you and u're my happy place. At least I got moment... a moment that i'd never forget. 😞 I know we're only had each other for a short period of time but that's so unforgettable... it wasnt long but i know that it was something even there's no way to it. I miss you... i wish we could be us again, forget about anything and be the happy "us" just like we used too... too shy to say but i really hope u stay... #N💓</3
2025-08-14

Idk

I’m wondering if he hates me that’s why he blocked me. :) loved him so much still do but what can you do when a person want to leave? And this pretending that everything is fine sucks. It’s been 6 months and I still can’t move on. Really hate this.

2025-08-14

Thank you for reliving my soul #PYJ

Through a heart break of rejection and the lose of my best friendship, I felt like losing my own home. I got no one by my side, that's what a child far from home like me felt. Just then, I met you, someone I can share all my sorrow and believing. If you happen to see this, I just wanna let you know that you were my strength to confront and overcome those challenges. I'm grateful for your existing through my darkest hour, where your presence told me I have you. And you're in my memory too and I felt whatever you felt. I can't keep in touch with you for some reasons, that's why I couldn't tell you all this. And I know if I could tell you, you won't settle down. I have a different life now and I can't be a late night talk companion like I used to. I forgave you whatever you did and do forgive me too for whatever I said to you. Please think of me like a good friend you had. You gotta live your good life and one day, someone's gonna take my place from your memory to a living moment.