Maybe I don’t love them, maybe the feeling of being in relationship is just something that I want to do to fill my void. I go for one after another and it seems like the cycle repeats. They love me, I love them back, I got cheated, I tried to find another one to move on, got heart broken, and move on to another. At this point, I don’t even know if I’m searching for love or just processing the trauma.
Hi. I never heard this feeling before. This is not about love. I’m talking about my life situation right now as a grade 12 student. I have nothing to say but this year got my life fucked. Let’s write a message to our Prime minister. LOL Good luck to students grade 12! I want auto pass too.
You show that you love that person You being grateful you that person You appreciate that that person love you, accept you for who you are. But one thing you don’t realize is that you get to be with that person when you have a new fancy house, a nice luxurious car, bank acc, brand new phone and many more And one thing that you forgot or trying to forget is the person who chose you since you had nothing and will alway choose you.
One of my male colleagues and I are so close, but the closest thing I mentioned was that I'm the one who's trying to get close to him. I think I like him a lot, but I'm not daring to tell him. I don't want to ruin the relationship between us. It was good enough for me to have him during my stressful times, happy times, busy times, and anytime I needed him. I'm so grateful. Even if in the future you're not mine, I believe you will be a good husband to your future wife like how you're treating me these days. I'm a bit jealous of whoever deserves you, but if you're happy, I'm happy too. Day by day, my day becomes more and more colorful and shines since I have you by my side. You're so good for my mental health. It was so boring when you were complaining about this and that, but it is so empty without those complaints. I want you, the person who is giving me these good feelings, to feel them as well; to feel loved by someone; to feel treated well; and to be my lover, so I don't have to worry about your future wife. Thank you for being there for me during my hard times. I really appreciated every moment I had with you.
I am the owner of #KJ0002. Time sure flies, we no longer text even though he knew I always wait for his texts and notifications. Even after he unblock me, he is not following back my ig and is no longer a friend in FB as well. But whenever I miss him and I post a story, he was always my first viewer to view it. Not until he decided to post another video @ his TikTok which is a very scary place that everything started between us. My tears just fall like an idiot with the little hope "Do I ever cross your mind when you see that video of yours"? It just hits me so hard because every movement everything that happens is still fresh in my mind, his voice still echoing in my ears, his smell still sticking to my nose, his kiss still warming my lips, our adultery stuff which I gave him out of my pure love for him still crawling back to my brain and it's torturing my every breathes. He is living his best life right now, while I am suffering from tears every single second because of him. Fools will eventually die from its stupidity? He once promised me to not let my tears drop because of him, one of my best friends also reminded me about the red flags since day 1 but I refuse to do so and mess with him. Up until this moment, the very first time that he's not viewing my story yet asking him whether Do I cross his mind or not at least once when he posts that place which has taken a huge place in my heart. I even get more clowning myself by commenting on that TikTok's video of him "what a nice view" and he just replied immediately, I think I knew now maybe my ig dm with him finally went rock bottom since he's stick to his phone 24/7. I am now waiting for him on my birthday which we suppose to meet again but somehow I made him mad at me and I don't know what is going to happen on my birthday, whether he shows up or not? I am still waiting, Little does he know my tears are now competing to drop without any hesitation. I am dying from time to time, I am living to his "air promises" I look back at our chat in the good old days that he told me to stick to 3 meals a day, stay hydrated, stay positive, and stay calm. I really want to turn back time to that night the 2nd sleepover with him. I left many unspoken words that I want to say in front of him. Seems like now I have no longer chance to meet him now. I can say now I have officially become a slave of him for him. I no longer can control my emotion as well as my body which I gave him all without anything left. He feels like home to me, now that he is gone? What can I do? I can only pray to god, trying my best to wait for him which is impossible but it is out of my control that's the only thing I could do to calm my mind. What should I do right now? The more I try to erase every moment I have with him, the more it is haunting me. How many tears must I shed, how many times must I cry? How many tears must I use for him to take pity on me? I am fighting my worst battle with myself right now. I told myself to be happy because my birthday is coming up in just a week. I have never broken someone's heart since I was born, why now am getting this treatment from someone I loved wholeheartedly? I felt bad for 3 people that I kept repeating find good points in him and kept on venting to them about the same cycle. Thanks to them that at least they listen to my whole story which I still can't forgive myself for the mess I created. I hope I can smile for my birthday this year, I am getting old but seems like I'm still childish when it's come to him. I am still hoping he remembers that this birthday boy is in a week, even it is not impossible but I am still waiting for the impossible to happen. Sorry for my broken English.
Brings back the day that he asked me for an artist’s recommendation and i told him about keshi. He says that he also listens to keshi and his fav track is besides you. I secretly felt happy because it was my favorite song.
Day by day, I started to know where I stand in everyone’s life. I’m that friend who is there when they need something. I’m that daughter who is responsible for every big and little things inside and outside the household. I’m that granddaughter who is just a female. I’m that sister who doesn’t deserve the respect. I’m that niece who got compared with the cousins’ parents and got hated by my own cousins. I’m that girlfriend who loves too much and also being a little too much that sometimes it suffocates him. Every eyes and words that look and say to me, make me feel small worthless. Whenever i try to explain what happen and both me, I got shouted back, not listening to me, first they comfort and still act the same. It’s hard coming home everyday and get the cold look from everyone and no one in the house actually talking to you. I have to repeat myself over 3 times to get the answer or someone attention. The only time I get someone to care enough for my well-being or existence is when I commit suicide.
I have met someone for almost 1 year and I started to feel like he is warm when I stay with him without any love feeling. I don’t feel on him but I just wanna stay with him, talk to him, play with him as normal but more than other. I keep thinking about him everyday, checking his personal life even his ex. But the matter is that I don’t feel on him, I don’t want him, I ask myself again and again but the answer is nothing. Moreover I don’t feel excited or shock when I meet him but I want to talk or to see him. So Is it called love or normal?
We’ve known each other for quite some times now. It’s no surprise to say we’re more than friends. We share secrets that we once promised ourselves to never disclose it ever, we rode to places together, we’ve gone to see the movies together, we hugged each other when we slept together (nothing sexual lmao just sleep), and there are tons of things that we have done together which to me are memorable. But I slowly came to realize that I am not that important to you as I thought I am. I’ve been striving for this alone while you were free riding this whole time. I tried to hold you tight while you didn’t even try. I shared my happiness/sadness with you while you laugh/cry alone. I’ve been fooled all these times. I was never an important person to you. I’m merely a friend. So why should I keep trying?