I still love you even we are apart for a long time. I’m still holding up to you. I want us to get back together again just like how brave I texted you, but the word afraid appears every time I think about it. I afraid that we might end up not talking to each other again. I’m glad that we are friend for now even I know this kind of friend just a title.
The heart beat i felt in my dream last night it feel so real. Like it was too good to be true. I know i ain't gonna experience it with u irl. But at least if the multiverse actually exist i know one of my alternate self is having good time with u.
We've been dating for over a year. We promised each other at the time that if we broke up, we would be single for 5yrs. Unfortunately, we broke up. She had a new boyfriend a month after we broke up, and she did whatever she could to show me that she had gotten a better man than I am now. But she had no idea, however, that she had already broken a promise. I've been single for about 5 yrs, and the end of 2022 will officially be 5 years. Being single doesnt mean I cant get myself for a girlfriend. Because the promises we made to each other were genuine to me. After all, don't make promises if you can't keep them. :'3
Im not sure where to start this and i don't want ti write a-lot either but I feel like I can’t tell or discuss anything with my best friend anymore … the thing is whenever I told her about something I want to do or what im planning to buy, she’d always do that that thing or buy those thing before me and act like I’ve never told her about it before, and it happens a lot (stupid me just notice those action when I told her i really like this short and planning to buy it (she doesn’t say anything like she wants those too) and next two or three days she bought those without asking whether we should buy it tgt and even do a mirror selfie and send it to me, like i know it’s small thing but it still hurts… even with dudes… (fyi im a shadow), if i told her there is dude I’m interested in, she’d like oh I’ll add him too or let me a game or two with them too and then they talk and become close… like i don't know whether this is normal thing to do so im not sure what to think anymore.
I’ve been isolating myself from everyone for awhile now. I avoid meeting ppl, I don’t pick up calls or reply any chat from anyone, I put my phone on airplane mode everyday. To those who knows me, will know how normal it is for me to disappear every now and then. But this time I took a long break, I don’t know if ppl around me will be patient enough to deal with this break. I have this one habit of disappearing when things get tough and refuse to ask for help from anyone or showing my vulnerability to ppl. Things get tough lately to the point that everything become overwhelming to me, I can’t complete any task, I can’t even take care of myself. I used to be an achiever, a person who dream big and thrive for everything in life, want to do this and that, but things often take the wrong turn, then I failed from time to time, which leads me to choose on a plan B (which I’m not very fond of). Time goes by, I feel like I’m shifting further away from my dream, I’m forcing myself to do the thing that I don’t want to do, I feel like everything I do is just for the sake of existing, I don’t feel like I have a life anymore. Sometimes I just wish I have the power to erase myself from ppl memories, I just want them to forget about me so that I can end my life peacefully. I don’t want to carry remembrance, remorse, or sorrow to my after life. But that’s physically impossible. Sometimes I wonder what if I move away as far as possible, disconnecting from ppl until one day they forget who I was and start working on myself again until I’m in a good state and come back like nothing happened, will they still accept me? Will that make everything better? I feel bad yet grateful for those who often trying to help or checking up on me once in a while when they notice I’m not okay, I just want to say sorry for ignoring u but thanks for ur patience. It might look like I’m disregard ur empathy, but I just wanted u to know that I appreciate that a lot, even though I don’t say it and I value ur time, effort and everything. Just for the quick update for those who asking me ‘How’s thing? How’s life?’, not so good, but I’m thriving and doing my best to get by. Just for now, I need a break, a long big break from everything. I can’t continue at a stage like this. I’ve been building bad performance at school, at work and every task that I attempted to do. Therefore, I quit school, quit work, avoid any social social interaction at all cost. There’s just me and me atm. No I don’t have plan or know what to do next anymore. I’m just working on my inner me. Hoping I’ll be okay again very soon. So pls be patient with me, don’t give up on me just yet, I’ll be back…
It's been 6 months since we last hung out and shared our daily life activities together. You always ask me how am I doing so far every time u texted me to see if I was doing alright. My answer giving to you always show the positive image acting like I'm doing alright. But in reality, I wasn't and I tortured myself to not think about u. Did u know that during this period of time, I forced myself to drink every time I thought about u even though I hate getting drunk? Maybe u didn't because we no longer talked to each other the same way we used to. Our conversation became dry and plain. Did you know that sometimes u popped up in my dream? I wish I could forget that in the next morning but u know me so well that I usually remember what I dreamt during the night and especially when you were in it. Did u know that I wanted to hold ur face one last time before we split and walked on our way? No, u didn't because u told me not to have a hard feeling between us and it hurt me so much. Fortunately, in mid-September, I dreamt about you and it was the dream I never forget. I saw YOU, standing in the middle of the crowd. I walked up to you with tears in my eyes. I literally could feel it - the tears and desperation to see u very very much. And I could finally touch ur face one last time with the word 'I miss you and goodbye'. I wish I could forget you but it seems like I can't. Did you know...?
Have you ever heard of love at first sight? We have just met for a few weeks, and I have asked for her for her social media account. Then, we started texting each other. Staying with her feel so right. Even though we have only little time to talk and spend with each other, I still wanna be with her…
You said distance is what we need now.
ehh pretty! u're such a good girl, u've met. once upon a time, u gave the feeling that u're really caring, but i was wrong. ur sweet voice, ur soft tone, ur beautiful eye sight are melting my heart everytime. btw, oh my sweetest, u're with lots of person, u kinda did the same way as u treat me. I don't know why u r into that person, before i figured out i think that u r such a lovely girl, soft hearted, but u failed me. u used everyone to help u most of time, and for me, i'm happy to be in used ^^ but not everytime. when i yeah share this scenario, just a scenario, to my fri, they said that the boii is being shxting used, hahahaha. and i'm yeah, ok XD tbh just a few words to u, pretty, please dun be like that, one day u'll lose them <3